Transcript (Auto Generated):

0:00
Oh, are we doing it?
We’re oh, we’re doing it.
Hi, I’m Annie.
And I’m Elle, and welcome to our trash parade.
How are you doing?
0:18
Good.
How are you?
I’m doing OK.
I don’t know if you’ve seen this, but this is my.
My coffee cup of Bjork’s of different eras.
Oh my God.
I, like, love this.
0:34
It’s like all of the different kinds of Bjork’s that I just love it.
I love drinking out of this coffee cup.
I drink out of it when I want a little extra magic in my day.
That woman is a witch, and I say an admiring, beautiful, wonderful way she.
0:54
It has the energy inside of her and she knows how to harness that.
I love her, dude.
That show we went to, that is the only time I’ve ever seen her live.
But that was that was one of the most magical shows and like energy connected shows I have ever been to.
1:14
It was wild.
That was.
Crazy.
I felt like I was in an alternate dimension and I was just stoned.
Like mildly stoned.
I had, you know, not taking any drugs or anything like that.
1:30
So it was just something I will remember for the rest of my life.
The woman is straight Magic, I think.
When?
We saw so this was in the park.
1:46
Was this in?
Was this wasn’t in Douglas Park, It was wherever they used to do the day in Chicago, it’s by.
It was by the Green Line and the Pink Line.
Yeah, I don’t know.
That’s the only time I’ve ever been over there.
2:02
Yeah, I don’t remember what park we’re at.
I’m sure we could find out, but.
Just seeing the sky turn purple as the sun was setting and then all of those dragonflies came out, it felt like something out of a movie.
2:22
And then the Tesla coil that was making all that base that came down, it was wild.
Oh my God.
And like the lightning that was coming in with the storm behind.
Her show, it was almost like she was conjuring the lightning and pitchfork.
2:41
I’m not really like a huge fan of going to that particular festival because it’s it seems very there to be seen and less about the music.
Never really has like super great vibes for me.
But I was surprised because as soon as she took the stage it was like everybody.
3:00
Clicked into place and we were all just vibing together and I was not expecting that because it the vibes are feeling a little hostile earlier in the day, which is weird for an indie festival.
I have no idea what happened at that show.
3:16
I just it was so it was like we were all tripping and in a just a different dimension.
And like I definitely was not tripping that day.
3:32
Like it was so amazing.
I’ve never, I’ve never felt that before or since from a show that was crazy.
No, it was totally insane.
It was like being in some other plane entirely.
3:48
And we need more of that.
We need more of that in this world.
Yeah, that was the tour, which there was no instruments.
It was it.
It was only vocal, all of it.
So everything was coming out of a person.
4:05
And I don’t know if that, like, conjured something.
I don’t know what that was.
But it was beautiful and it was so intricate for just having like this group of people up there because of the sounds that they were making.
4:22
Oh, that.
It was so crazy.
It was wild.
She makes me so happy.
She’s a true artist and I like that.
She’s not an asshole about it.
She she seems to like to have a fun time and has a good sense of humor and doesn’t take herself too seriously, but she’s got this like crazy crazy fucking ability to just.
4:52
Alchemize things into beautiful pieces of art.
And if it was me, I would be super up my own ass about that, which is awesome.
Speaking of great shows, you were just here in New Orleans for a visit and we saw Depeche Mode.
5:17
So this was our second time seeing them and they were phenomenal still at this age.
It was so good.
What did you think?
It was amazing.
I the percussion was hitting me really hard.
5:33
I felt like it was aggressive in a really good way.
I felt very connected to the percussion throughout the entire show and the light show was amazing.
Now I know I was on shrooms during this entire experience, so it was probably extra amazing for me.
5:54
I’m curious, you as somebody not on mushrooms during this experience, how you took in the light show.
I thought it was really awesome.
I did eat a lot of edibles and I ate like more while I was at the show.
6:16
I just kept eating them all night, but some of the colors were so vibrant and like the mood it set was beautiful though.
In particular, though, the we talked about this, the one with the donkeys, that beach scene, that blue just like was popping out of the screen.
6:43
It was so beautiful.
It was super high def and I was like you were saying at the show how simple that setup was.
Just like giant M as a projector.
But they use symmetry and a lot of design to make it an immersive experience.
7:03
I think for everyone.
I’ve never seen anything like that.
It was very contemporary, but it was also super simple at the same time, yeah.
But man, that guy can move his ass still.
Yes, he loves it.
He loves to shake his ass.
7:20
I love all the little Cha Cha Chas he had going on during this.
Time.
I can’t believe how limber he is at that age.
He looks so good too.
Considering the life that he has LED, he looks amazing.
7:38
Where are the other dude?
What’s his name?
Yes, he looks like he went through some shit. 100% I’ve never found Martin really attractive, though There’s always been something super creepy about him to me.
7:56
I don’t know what it is.
I think it’s the fact that maybe he doesn’t have a top lip that bothers me.
It’s like it’s almost like a shadow of a top lip, but not really on a top lip.
I don’t know what it is, but he’s always really irked me.
8:14
I don’t know.
I know everybody loves Martin and he’s, you know, a huge part of the band and I feel like he feels kind of like unbalanced a little bit.
He does, he seems.
8:33
I don’t know.
Something is weird about his energy that I’m not super into.
I don’t know what it is.
I don’t care to find out what it is because I still love the music that he makes.
But his voice was beautiful too.
He was a great always.
8:51
I can’t believe how fucking good they sound.
Yeah.
And I really love that he said that Louisiana was better than Texas.
Of course.
I’m like fuck.
Yeah, that’s why I’m here seeing this show.
9:07
Not in Texas, but in Louisiana, right?
Can we talk about the Parade of Goths of all ages?
I loved it.
It was so I was so comforting to be amongst all the people wearing black and like, just not giving a fuck.
9:29
I was super into it.
Me too.
It felt like coming home.
Yes, just.
Like people from 15 to like 70 in all era of goth looks.
All era and all manner of goth looks just.
9:48
There, I thought I was maybe gonna be the only person like my age dressed up in fishnets and black leather with, like, the crazy makeup.
I was not alone.
That show was so good, though.
10:06
It was exactly what I I needed to reset myself.
How did you feel?
You said you haven’t been to a show since before the Pando.
Yeah dude, it was wonderful.
I needed some loud music in my face.
10:23
I needed some fucking guitar and drums and just it was nice to rock out and scream and sing along out loud.
And it was wonderful.
10:39
And you know, I mean, that week was a weird week because I I got fired earlier that week.
So it was like, oh, I just needed this.
I needed a.
Wonderful concert.
I’m so glad your first Condor concert.
10:58
Condor concert host Condo was such a good one, and it was so awesome.
Being there with you, ’cause we got to see them for the first time together.
Seeing them again, it was great.
11:13
I had a great week with you.
I felt like completely refreshed and reset.
When I came home.
I just felt like I was back in my own world again, you know?
Excellent.
11:29
I had a wonderful time.
It’s always nice to have you here.
Thank you.
I always worry I’m putting people out, you know, because I’m visiting.
I’m sure that my fire energy probably irritates your husband to some extent.
I feel like he doesn’t feel anybody else’s energy because he has so much going out into the world, so she was fine.
11:58
I know, I love Rudy.
I just worry because it’s not just your house.
I’m crashing.
It’s his too.
So I’m like, I’m just gonna force you guys to watch the weird videos and movies all week with me while we go do dumb things.
So he had a great time because you guys went dancing and he has been wanting to go dancing because I’m not that into it.
12:24
So it’s pretty perfect for you guys would have been like what was it?
It was Depeche Mode night there, right?
Yeah, they did a whole after party for the concerts.
It was all Depeche Mode and New Wave.
That was awesome.
12:39
They were playing some tracks too.
I was like, this is great sex.
Dwarf Oh my God, it brings all the bats on the floor.
I love it, yes.
Oh, it was so fun, dude.
12:57
So I was talking to Derek the other day.
We were out with one of our mutual friends, and I was like, so excited to go see Rudy when you go to New Orleans next week or whenever it is that he’s going.
And he was like, yeah, he’s like, I’ve gone dancing with Rudy.
13:15
And I was like, excuse me, what?
And.
He’s like the only time I dance is when I’m with in New Orleans and.
Rudy is around and I was like, what?
I don’t, I don’t have any recollection of him ever going dancing with Rudy, but maybe he has.
13:34
And I looked at him and I was like, babe, I’ve been trying to get you to take me dancing for three years.
And Cody looked at him and was like, you haven’t taken her dancing in three years.
And he was like, no.
13:51
And I was like I asked him to take me to the Goth prom.
And he said he would go, but he wouldn’t dance.
But you’re dancing with another man and New Orleans.
You’re dancing with my best friend’s husband and I like, where, where were they?
14:12
Like, where did they go to dance?
That’s what I want to know.
I don’t know.
I I’m wondering if like, Derek is full of shit.
It is just confusing.
Like one of our many trips down there and he doesn’t know what he’s talking about.
I was just like what?
14:29
And Cody looked at him and he’s like, obviously you’re the top of our pyramid, bro.
And our relationship is like.
More important, like I’m closer friends with you than I am with Al.
But I think it’s shitty.
14:44
You haven’t taken her dancing in three years.
You wouldn’t.
Even want to dance at our wedding?
I was like, come on, dude.
Like, it was not a point of contention until he was like, I’ll go dancing with Rudy.
I was like, why does everybody want to dance with Rudy?
15:01
Nobody wants to dance with me.
Well, I also don’t dance with Rudy, so.
And he’s my husband.
Hey, you were dancing the other night though, at the concert.
I was like, I mean girl, I was like, you’re feeling this.
15:19
I will move at a live show.
I love live music.
I don’t like being like in a club in a small space with like all these people around me, and I’ve always been kind of like that.
15:35
But at a concert, I feel those vibrations like I want.
I want to absorb all that energy.
I love live music.
That is what I think I miss about going to shows all the time is feeling the vibrations of the music, especially if it’s like a really deep face.
15:57
There are sometimes.
I know this sounds really weird, but I just want to like go on a.
To a club that’s playing music that I like, I just like lay on top of the speakers.
There’s got to be something with the frequency.
I feel like it resets something inside of my body.
I don’t know what it is, I don’t know what what is happening to me when that is going on, but it feels really good.
16:22
I feel in tune with something else and I wish I could do that without disturbing the peace.
In my private residence there’s just something about, you know, the people on stage have put in the work and like this is their like passion and their energy and they’re like giving it to me and.
16:46
Like I’m giving back by like moving to the music or singing along or whatever.
You know, I just enjoy that sharing and when I played music that I love the sharing of the energy in that kind of way.
17:02
It feels so good to me.
So, like going to a concert that for a band that I love, I was like, yes, time to rock out.
I’m so glad we got to have that experience.
And it’s so nice too, because, like, Depeche Mode is like old as fuck.
17:22
I mean, we’re old as fuck.
So I We’re old as fuck because they’re way older than us.
And it wasn’t sad and depressing.
Like, you know how when you see some bands that are legendary, that have been around forever and you really want to see them live?
17:39
And then you go and see them and it’s like kind of sad?
Like maybe they technically sound good or like they’re not really the ones playing their instruments.
They have good vertex behind them.
They can’t like, move.
They look like they haven’t given it, given like they need to just be their age, right?
18:00
I did not get that vibe at all from them.
They feel they’re young and I aspire to be in that frame of mind when I am that age and like that member and like being able to be that present.
There are just some artists when I’ve been like, I will not go see that again because that is fucking sad.
18:19
Like that is really fucking sad.
Well, kind of reminds me of what happened when you saw.
I wasn’t at the show, but when you saw Manson the last time in Chicago, Oh yeah, you know, I think part of aging gracefully is like accepting where you are at that time.
18:41
And no matter your age, if you’re young too, like you have to accept this is where you are right now.
And like people who are trying to chase being young as they get older are insane.
Like what?
Make the coolest old people I’ve always known are people who are confident in who they were and did not care that they were older.
19:05
They’re just like, yeah, I am like and and I love that and I feel like that’s what Depeche Mode felt like.
They’re like, This Is Us now.
We’re not trying to be 80s Depeche Mode and move the way we did.
19:21
We’re going to, like, use our bodies the way they work now.
And like their voices were excellent, which means they like, are still practicing their craft.
They like, put in the energy and the work and Oh my God, it was it was wonderful.
19:38
Can we have a moment of appreciation for how many vests we saw this weekend?
I love the tiny vests.
I can only imagine only certain people can get away with a tiny vest, let alone a rotating wardrobe of tiny vests.
20:00
It’s so European.
It’s like Dave Gahan and his vest wardrobe changed and he comes walking up on the stage and he’s.
Like getting.
Shirt on, I’m like.
You love wearing that little vest like he loves to stretch.
20:17
He is just like into it, like high.
I know he is definitely like my grandpa’s age, but I would.
I would see what that was like for a night.
I’d probably regret it, but it sounds like it would be an experience.
20:39
I’ll pass, but I will hang out with him for the night.
I just, I I feel like I love that there’s just these little changes he did throughout the night and like because he started off with the jacket.
20:54
He had the shirt and the vest.
Then the jacket came off and then there was like a vest change, maybe two.
And then the shirt came off and it was a different vest.
There was like maybe five different.
Yeah.
And then he came back with another vest for the encore.
21:10
Yeah, I want to know, how many vests can somebody answer this question?
How many vests are on tour with Dave gone?
I want to know.
I need to know now.
Yes.
And the shoes.
Did you notice the snazzy shoes he had on?
21:27
No, I didn’t.
They they were like white with like a little bit of heel.
And he there is.
I don’t remember what song it was, but he like made it a point to like, show his shoes into.
The camera, I remember that.
21:43
I loved it.
Actually.
I don’t remember the shoes, but I remember him doing that and being like, damn, what a clothes horse.
I love it.
Oh, I needed some of that flamboyance in my life.
22:01
I feel like there are not a lot of rock stars that can bring it these days.
With that kind of attitude, I feel like we have a lot of people who are into being controversial or like just in the media cause, like any press is good press.
22:20
But they’re not owning it, and it’s not because they’re feeling themselves.
They’re just trying to be assholes, you know, like Machine Gun Kelly gets on stage and like, yells.
I was at that show where he was yelling about Slipknot being a bunch of old posers, and I was just like, that’s not the kind of ego I want to see.
22:41
I want to see confidence.
I want to see you vibing.
I want to see you like out there.
Like, I am God’s gift to mankind and you will love it.
Like, I want that kind of attitude.
I don’t want like I’m just kind of being a bitch, ’cause I can be a bitch attitude.
23:01
It’s boring.
I like those vibes.
The vibes feel different, like when somebody’s really feeling themselves, you feel good too, because you’re like receiving all that.
So I always feel good when I leave their shows.
So amazing.
Oh, and that dance party afterwards, I have been needing to Just Dance.
23:21
Been needing to dance.
And that was just liberating as fuck.
It felt good just to be in like some leather again and like not have any inhibitions and just be letting loose with a bunch of fucking crazy people that look just like I do.
23:44
And not feel weird about it.
It was.
I don’t know.
I think I need to make a point on myself care journey that I need to go dancing at least once a month and I’m going to start going alone.
So my fucking husband won’t take me.
And that’s fine, he can do him, but I’m going to go out dancing in my leather and cute outfits at least once a month for my own mental health.
24:04
So excellent.
I do think that, like, adding fun to our lives again is very important because it’s not been fun for a long time and it was like it was just so nice to have a night out and like just to do something different and not be attached to a screen, to just experience.
24:37
It’s been so long and it’s so rare.
I feel like that happens now.
I feel like these.
Have been the days of austerity in so many ways.
I am broker than I have been since I was like 20 years old.
24:57
OK, maybe like 22 years old, which is still like 18 years ago.
And I was thinking to like the highest income that I have earned.
You know, in my adulthood and honestly, the best income that I was earning was in like 2009 and I have never been able to get up past that income bracket or reach that besides the one place that I was at for a little bit of time, which almost killed me.
25:33
And I was just like, dude, if I can’t even get a job that’s paying that much because that wasn’t that much money back then.
And with all the inflation and it’s just been a long time, what the fuck is going on?
25:49
Like, are we living through like, some kind of depression?
What?
I I think it’s crazy that I now have a college degree.
I’ve been in the workforce since I was 14.
And I still cannot, like get ahead.
Like I can’t get to a point where I am.
26:07
I am like, even earning as much as I was when I was 24.
Like, what the fuck?
That is insane to me, dude.
I was having the exact same thoughts today.
I was like, why am I always feeling like I’m in a midlife crisis?
26:24
I’ve been feeling like this since I was like 25 and like, it’s this constant struggle for stability.
And I just never thought that at 40, almost 41, that I would be struggling with finding a fucking job again and like, just trying to make money.
26:48
Like, why is this so hard?
I don’t.
It’s it’s insane that it’s hard to make $50,000 a year.
I know.
I was talking to, so I had a guy that came in this weekend for my for he was in for his 90th birthday and he was a sweet man, wonderful family.
27:10
But he asked me he was like, what is a wonderful girl like you doing in a place like this?
I know he didn’t mean anything by it.
And I just looked at him and I was like just trying to get by and he was like.
Just are you getting by?
27:26
And I was like, kinda, Yeah.
And yeah, I was just like, it doesn’t feel good when somebody says something like that to you.
Like you did something wrong to wind up in whatever industry that you’re in.
27:45
And I don’t.
It didn’t make me feel very good, yeah.
I know he didn’t mean anything by it, but there is still a large, there’s a lot of class system, and I’m starting to realize this more and more.
28:01
I’ve always noticed it.
I’m sure you’ve always noticed it.
But the older and older I get, the more I realize, like how bound by class all of us are.
And you know, yeah, you know, I’m a waitress.
I’m also an artist and I do other things like I’m a full person like.
28:21
I’ve gotten past the point where I accept that that is my identity.
I don’t believe that that’s my identity.
That’s just what I do to pay the bills.
But other people still think that that’s who you are and like, you fucked up in some way.
To wind up in that industry and just to have a reminder of that kinda hurts a little bit.
28:43
Yeah.
I mean, it has taken years now of me trying to deprogram myself from connecting myself worth to like my career.
I feel like my entire life I’m was chasing this thing of being the best at something and like it was expected.
29:07
You know, you’re smart all all while I was a kid.
You’re smart.
You should be doing better.
You’re getting straight A’s.
Like, you’re going to go to college, you’re going to do this, You’re going to do this, you’re going to do this.
And none of it happened.
I went to college, but it took me 7 years to finish college.
29:26
That’s like it’s very hard for me to work in these structures that are set up for society.
Like, I don’t fit in it.
So like, that was a struggle.
And then just in my career, I still have never found the right niche.
29:45
You know, I don’t, I don’t know how people find it, but I know it’s not in the corporate world and it’s not for small businesses either.
So I don’t know.
I don’t know what people are doing nowadays.
And I feel like a lot of people who are our age group are all having these same issues.
30:06
I mean, look at our friend groups.
How many of us are just in this?
We’ve been kind of in this same position in life since our 20s and maybe, you know, some of us got married, but not that many of us own anything like a house, you know?
30:25
And if we do, none of us are getting it until like now.
Which is crazy to think of.
Like our parents had their houses when they were in their 20s and our grandparents, you know, So I just saw somewhere the average age of a first time home buyer is now 47 years old.
30:46
That is wild to me, yeah.
Well, if Derek and I do wind up buying a house, at least, you know, nice to know him ahead of the average.
Yeah, exactly.
It’s fucking crazy, dude.
31:02
And I I don’t know, like I was just having a lot of weird conversations this week with people and like.
One thing that I was thinking about in specific regarding this, I don’t know who I was talking about talking to or what exactly I was talking about, but I was talking to somebody at work and everybody I worked with thought their 20s were fucking awesome.
31:27
I hated the my 20s.
They were terrible until I got to my late 20s and it was awful.
I hated my 20s and we were talking about like.
Going to college and different things that we did and like where when we entered the workforce and I was like, dude, I started working when I was 14 and I got kicked out of my house when I was 18.
31:55
I went right into the workforce.
You know, I didn’t have that support.
I had to put myself through college and I really appreciate the fact that I was able to put myself through college.
And that I waited to go to college until I wanted, like knew what I wanted to go study.
32:14
And I felt like I got more out of it at the age that I went.
But at the same time, I also think that it was really hard for me, ’cause I had limited career options and I wasn’t being supported.
I didn’t get that head start.
32:31
And that really hinders you ’cause you can’t take that unpaid internship and work for free for a year.
If you don’t have that kind of support, or if you don’t have a stable household or shit’s just not normal where you grew up or where you’re living.
32:48
And I think that that’s that can really like, fuck somebody up as far as your life trajectory goes.
And you know this is.
Me just being a white person that grew up in the suburbs, I’m not somebody that has been, you know?
33:07
Dealt multiple hands of different things that are already like difficult to deal with because I’ve been, you know, you know, I don’t have like the racism added in on top of that.
And then like, also the generational poverty that might have happened, you know, not to say that that’s everybody’s story, but I don’t have those like additional layers of adversity and it’s been really fucking hard for me, so.
33:34
Hats off to any, any, any self-made person in America if they still exist.
It was fucking hard and I gave you a Gold Star.
Show me how.
I do wonder how many people are left since the pandemic, considering all the businesses that got shut down and everything people went through.
33:57
Like, how is everybody really doing?
You know, we have not had time to reflect.
And now we’re at the brink of World War Three.
Like, here we go, Middle East.
What?
What reality are we living in?
34:12
I don’t.
Understand.
Like we’re living in a very weird transitional time right now and everything feels very uncertain and it’s terrifying.
Do you feel that way at all?
34:28
Like, you don’t know.
This could go either way.
I’m very nervous.
So what I’m very nervous about is our government.
As of right now, the House is voting on a new speaker.
34:50
We haven’t had one for what, 2 weeks?
3 weeks now?
Has it been longer?
I don’t even know.
I.
Don’t even know.
So he did not have enough votes today and I guess they’re going to go voting tomorrow.
35:09
This is the Jim Jordan guy, right?
Is that correct?
He the guy who believes that Trump won.
They.
Also allowed a bunch of kids on his sports team when he was assistant coach to get molested.
35:27
Is that mm hmm.
Yeah.
And.
Party of family values.
And in the 16 years that he’s been in Congress, he’s never once passed a bill.
This is who we have in our fucking Congress right now.
35:44
And we have war with Russia and Ukraine.
We have war with Israel and Hamas, and there’s a lot of tension there.
Nobody is taking in the refugees from Palestine like every country has refused and it’s terrifying.
36:06
And we, like we still have military positions that are have not been filled because that other fucked hard is upset that military people can get abortions.
So he’s holding that up like these people have no sense of responsibility.
36:27
There’s like no self-awareness, there’s no urgency, and they do not give a fuck about the United States.
They are there for themselves, and what they’re not fucking seeing is if World War Three does break out or another war that America has to pay for.
36:47
All these benefits you’re getting right now will do them nothing because there will be nothing.
And I just don’t understand how people are so constantly right now, right now, right now.
I don’t understand either.
It’s very first of all, it’s not an either or situation.
37:06
And I feel like we’ve been living in not an either or world for a long time.
And nobody wants to admit that there is a lot of Gray areas when it comes to the discourse that we’ve been having publicly.
37:23
And it seems like the instinct is just to be like you are my enemy or you are my friend.
And if you are my friend, you have to fit into these little finite, like kind of like purity tests.
37:39
And both sides are like that.
You know, I’m a liberal and I get tired of it, like people fuck up and make mistakes.
But like there shouldn’t be.
It shouldn’t be like.
Oh my God, this person has been blacklisted now because they made a mistake.
37:54
You know, obviously that there are lines there, but there’s nobody having a conversation.
It’s just proving to your followers or proving to other people that you’ve like, passed the purity test.
And I think that we’ve already been in this mindset for like a decade now and now we have a war going on that has been historically complicated issue.
38:20
And I am so tired of hearing people talk about this in a very unnuanced way.
It is a complicated issue.
Somebody can’t just go in there and fucking fix it.
38:35
And my concern about all of this, you know, piggybacking on everything that you just said.
Is that, yeah, we can’t get our own shit together.
And the Speaker of the House is what, three steps away from becoming president?
38:52
Like if something happens to the president, then it’s the vice President, and if something happens to the Vice President, then the House Speaker gets sworn into office.
That is terrifying.
And if we can’t even get our shit together and keep our country running and operating if we get involved in this war?
39:11
I am concerned that America is going to be like, yeah, we’re going to go in there and fix it.
And it’s like, what are you going to fix, ’cause you can’t even, like, get your shit together here?
How are you going to put together and make peace with a historically rife and complicated conflict in the Middle East that nobody has been able to fix yet?
39:31
And you think with your ego that you can be like, oh, we’re American?
We’ll just like, go in and fix this whole situation.
It’s going to fucking.
Not work.
It’s going to not work and it could possibly make things worse.
And that is what scares me, is like, we don’t need a bunch of unstable fucking people getting involved in this conflict.
39:56
Like, I really want the best outcome possible.
I want there to be peace in the Middle East.
My heart goes out to the entire people on both sides.
You know, the Palestinians have suffered, the people who died in Israel as a result of the Hamas attacks, and everything that is going on is a tragedy, you know, But there’s a lot of innocent people there, and I worry about them.
40:23
And I don’t think that we’re in a position where we can do anything to assist them, at least diplomatically at this point or from a war standpoint, because we clearly can’t even get our own Jacks in a row here like we just had.
40:39
We are out of control.
Yeah, I mean, we have who’s over there right now blinking or something like that.
We have some Secretary of State, whatever.
He’s been there pretty much since the beginning, and he’s constantly with Netanyahu.
41:02
Joe Biden is on his way.
He’s going to Tel Aviv, right?
Yeah, but I think I heard something that Netanyahu canceled his meeting with him because did you see the hospital explosion situation?
41:21
Yes, Carl, when I saw that, my heart sunk.
I I just don’t have words to describe how I’m feeling, which is why I haven’t really been able to talk about this with anyone.
41:42
Plus, there’s a lot of like, I’m really tired of hearing celebrity opinions on all of this.
And people make states because I don’t, I don’t think if fucking means anything.
I know that sounds terrible, but like, I don’t really care what Kim Kardashian has to say about this.
42:03
I don’t know if she’s made a statement about this or not, but just picking a name out of the air, I don’t think that that adds anything to the situation.
I feel like it’s a lot of nothing and people making like very carefully constructed public relations statements that aren’t useful to the situation.
42:24
And I feel like it’s a lot of virtue signaling and people feeling like they have to say something, in which case if you’re not sure what you want to say, you should just be quiet.
And I I have so many complicated feelings about this and I just can’t.
42:39
Like I, my brain cannot comprehend what is happening right now in it’s because I’m like, well, Israel has blown up a hospital, which is fucking horrible, but haven’t we done stuff like that with drone attacks?
42:56
Well, also Israel is saying they didn’t do it.
They said because Hamas was shooting at Israel and it was one of their missiles that misfired.
So who fucking knows what the Hell’s happening over there?
43:14
Like it’s just it’s so disgusting.
It’s disgusting.
It’s a male.
I’m not blaming this on men, I just want to make that clear.
But it this?
Is the Middle East and I am blaming it on that.
43:29
OK, well, it’s a very male conflict and it bothers me because it’s just, it’s a lot of energy that can’t see the forest for the trees from the beginning.
43:45
And I don’t.
I just don’t like when people think that, like, the only way out is the expense of human life.
I I know that that’s the world that we live in, but it’s just disgusting.
44:02
It makes me sick to my stomach.
It makes me so sick to my stomach.
A part of a problem is you have two groups of people that look at each other as less than.
It’s all religious ideology like.
44:19
Hamas thinks Israel and the Jewish people should not exist.
And Israel, obviously it is a big threat.
They are surrounded by a lot of people who think that they should not exist.
So they take these policies or whatever you want to call them and like it’s an abuse of power and like I don’t.
44:47
You know, of course, like Hamas is going to attack at some point, but also like Hamas is like putting the actual Palestinian people in danger because they don’t care.
These people just don’t want Israel to exist.
45:04
And I feel I get so angry because I think religion is bullshit.
And look at how many wars after wars we have over.
Religious ideology.
And then it brings it back to what’s happening here and the this, the evangelical takeover of everything and all of this stuff.
45:26
It’s all connected what I have been thinking of too throughout all this.
I’m glad that you brought that up, because I thought I was just going off on like a rabbit, like a rabbit trail or down a rabbit hole of just weird thoughts.
45:45
But I feel like, I mean really how if we don’t like pull back from the place that we’re at and start recognizing the humanity in every one of us in America, like we are going to be in the same position.
46:05
Granted, we’re not going to be fighting over the Holy Land in America, but there are a lot of people in the fringe evangelical movement that do think that America is the city on the hill and is the new incarnation of Israel.
And I don’t want to see that happen here.
But I see that kind of polarization happening, which is, I’m not saying we are Israel and Palestine, but I feel like we’re seeing what that kind of behavior, like that kind of attitude in way that things can go if we don’t change course right now.
46:40
And that’s what’s really scary to me.
And it does tie in to all of the weird religious stuff that’s going on right now because we do have a fundamentalist, like group of people that have hijacked the Republican Party and they are waiting for Armageddon to happen.
47:00
And like, whether or not these politicians believe in that or not, their believers do and the people that vote for them do.
And having all this stuff go on in Israel is a fulfillment of prophecy that’s going to bring a second coming.
And I feel like I’ve I’m really angry that I feel like we’re fighting a religious battle on so many different levels that we’re not even involved in, if that makes any sense.
47:27
Yeah, absolutely.
I, I and I.
What’s really upsetting about all of this is like, I feel like everything has become like a fundamentalist movement.
47:47
I feel like, you know, I’m a liberal, but like, I don’t call myself a liberal anymore because of the left.
The way that they do things is also very like if you’re not with us, you’re against us.
So, like, all that evangelical stuff has made this happen now on this side, and nobody compromises anymore.
48:09
And like, I remember being able to be friends with lots of different people.
I have been friends with people who have money.
Poor people like different colors.
Different.
All kinds of things.
48:26
And it was always very easy.
And in the last 10 years, I’ve noticed, like I it’s become very homogenized in my friend group.
We’re all a bunch of weirdos, luckily, so it stays wonderful and exciting.
48:43
But like I used to have, just just more.
Just different around.
And I feel like everybody has become like this.
We all are just like going into our tribes and not like listening to anything else.
49:03
And it’s terrifying.
What happens if war breaks out in the Middle East more than what it is now?
Like how is that going to affect things here?
We saw what happened with the six year old in Illinois getting stabbed and his mom getting stabbed.
49:20
They buried that little boy today and he got stabbed.
What happened?
Dude, in Bensenville, I believe.
Oh, OK.
The landlord came in and stabbed his tenant, who was a Muslim woman, and her six year old child stabbed the little boy. 26 fucking Are you fucking serious?
49:44
Because he was Muslim and they buried him today and like.
I cried all morning when I was watching, like, the Family because I’m just like, how, how can you be so hateful?
Like how it takes work to hate like that?
50:02
And like, that is what’s happening in the Middle East right now.
You know, Like, it’s just everywhere.
We’re surrounded by it and it’s grossing me out everything.
It feels gross and it feels chaotic and like there’s no break.
50:22
At least back when our money went further, we could take breaks.
I remember taking vacations pretty often or weekends away.
Just taking, you know a weekend that’s like not an option anymore and it hasn’t been for a long time and.
50:41
This is why we have this podcast now to talk about how fucking trashy everything has gotten here and so bad.
It’s so bad and it’s it’s just like people live in different realities here where they’re like, oh, Islamophobia is not a thing.
51:00
It’s like, well, it is a fucking thing.
And people are like, well, that’s only like random cases and it has to be meant because of mental illness, You know, these things happen.
Everything is mental illness.
51:15
No.
Sometimes things are a choice, right?
And I’m just like, then why are you, like, continuing to make legislation that, like, marginalizes a specific group of people if it’s not Islamophobic?
51:32
I know Islamophobia that’s causing this.
And I think that can be applied to like any marginalized group in the United States.
You know, I just get so absolutely disgusted by it.
I can’t.
People have zero chill.
51:48
And I’m not saying like chill, like everyone needs to do Matthew McConaughey, but like, people used to just not be so emotionally excitable.
And I think some of it may have gotten worse during the pandemic.
52:08
I felt like it was already getting really bad before the pandemic.
But when you can’t leave your house and the only thing that you’re hearing, everybody is scared.
And the only thing that’s being pumped into your brain is a 24/7 shit show coming from the president.
52:26
And if it’s not coming from the president, it’s coming from press coverage of the president.
And it’s coming from like every talking head, but like you’re stuck in the house and you’re trying to reach out to find out what is going on.
52:42
And that’s like your only outlet and you’re just being inundated with nothing but talking heads and negativity and fucking fear like people.
Using fear is like a tool to get ratings and fucks your brain up if you do that for two years.
53:02
And I think people are a lot more excitable.
I think from not being around people for as long as we were, people got used to people like forgot their coping mechanisms almost.
And everybody is just, I feel like it’s almost like a post traumatic thing where it’s like everything is like triggering people’s fight or flight mode.
53:26
I don’t know why that’s happening, but it’s happening.
And I think people just feel, I think 2 years of inundating people with nothing but fear and no leadership and rhetoric.
53:43
It made people feel really out of control.
And I feel like people are acting crazy because they feel out of fucking control.
Yeah, and I mean it, it felt like it slightly calmed down after Trump was out of office, but like, it rubs back up pretty quickly with the war stuff.
54:04
And like when I was watching the news today, I it was just so.
The the fear mongering was so much and you know, they go right back to like in America, you know, Muslims and Jews like the terror alert’s gone up on them and all that kind of stuff.
54:30
And it’s just like we constantly are being pushed to be afraid.
And I’m like, OK.
This is what happened after 911 and we had the Patriot Act.
What the fuck are they doing?
What is coming next?
Like how are they going to lock us up even more?
54:45
I can’t take it anymore.
I know.
I also feel like, I feel like everything that you do is documented now, right?
So I feel like, you know, when somebody gets killed or like if you were to get killed or die or something, or if you were to commit a crime, like they’re going to investigate your Google search history.
55:11
And it’s like that makes me feel unsafe.
Not that I don’t think they have a right to do that, but like it also bothers me that like someone is going to know that in 2012 I was like obsessively searching for cures to like long term yeast infections.
55:30
Like, do you know what I mean?
Yeah, violating feeling.
But we’ve had to, like, make peace with that ’cause that’s where the world we’re living in right now and.
You just have to keep giving up a little bit more and a little bit more, just for safety and security.
55:47
Give me this, give me that.
We’ll make you safe.
And it’s just like lie after lie after lie.
It is a lie because I’ve been thinking so much, and I think maybe it was you and I that were talking about this recently, is that justice has nothing to do with the law.
56:05
It has to do with how you interpret the law.
And a lot of that has to do with like, how much you can afford to spend on a lawyer and like who’s sitting on the other side of that bench.
And that is like a really terrifying thought.
And, you know, you keep giving up a little bit more, a little bit more.
56:24
But, like, if you have a problem and you need to take it to a higher authority and you don’t have money or you don’t have somebody defending you, or it’s too much of A burden for somebody to look into it, they’re not gonna fucking help you.
56:42
Like, I don’t know, maybe it’s just, ’cause I’m from Chicago, like, I know not to call the cops, ’cause they don’t care, you know?
Like, I don’t they’re they’re not going to do anything unless it’s like, and if they do, you could get somebody really hurt.
57:00
So it really just depends on who, who’s the, you know, adjudicator of the day, who’s going to be the person that is administering the law and like looks out for justice.
Like there is no one.
It’s a game.
And that’s what really bothers me.
57:17
Is it just, I mean we see time and time again like that poor woman that was she got sentenced because she killed the guy that literally sex trafficked her, like kidnapped her and sex trafficked her and she went to jail for killing the guy.
57:34
Yeah, she was defending herself.
What state was that in?
It was somewhere in the South, I think.
I’m not really sure.
It could have been Texas.
I don’t know, though.
Yeah.
But it’s like, that’s not justice.
57:49
That’s not the law.
You know, you just decided this person was a prostitute.
I think, if I’m not mistaken, she was a minor when this she was kidnapped.
Yeah, but we have all these sex trafficking laws which are really code to just stop prostitution.
58:06
They’re not actually helping people who are being sex trafficked.
Right.
It’s fucked up.
I feel like it is.
Like, so it is.
I feel like we’re in the wild, Wild West right now and it’s global at this point.
58:25
It’s pretty terrifying and it’s exhausting and I just long for some calmness and for things to just make a little bit of sense, right?
58:42
It’s all I want.
So energetically, I’m curious like what vibes you’ve been picking up on how the Eclipse has been for you, Because I feel like all of this is related personally, but I’m curious what your experience has been.
59:03
Well, leading up to the eclipse I felt very Moody and on edge.
The day of the eclipse though, I felt really good.
I feel like maybe Venus is like getting back to normal because I feel just more flowy, I guess.
59:27
Like when I’m in my house, things feel nice, but when I leave my house it feels rough.
It feels anxious.
And I think everybody just is very confused and nervous.
59:44
What about you?
Well, I think it’s, I think everybody’s kind of affected by this right now.
Like my mom who’s not into woo woo shit was like, what?
What is up with this eclipse?
Why do I feel so weird right now?
59:59
And I was like, she’s like, are these things just normally spooky?
And I was like, I was like mom.
That’s just like.
It’s a whole vibe.
It’s the eclipse.
It’s fine.
I was like, I feel like everybody’s energy is really fragile right now.
And she was like, well, at least I know I’m not crazy, but I’ve been noticing people having like, little bit of outbursts since Mercury has moved into Scorpio.
1:00:28
People feel a little bit more.
They do feel fragile, but I’ve had other people like reach out to me and be like, I feel blocked psychically.
Like I don’t feel good.
I don’t know what’s going on.
And I totally get that.
1:00:46
And I had my ketamine treatment today and since I’m on oral ketamine now, they’re like dissolvable trophies that they just dissolve in your mouth.
1:01:01
I’m not doing the shots anymore.
And that’s like a whole thing we can discuss later if you want.
But my ketamine treatments aren’t like as effective because there is an intramuscular ketamine shortage right now.
So I’m on the oral ketamine and you only absorb like a small portion of that stuff through your mouth through the like oral pathway.
1:01:23
So the it’s not as effective as the other treatments I was getting.
And like you also are not having like a flon ketamine experience like you would be if you’re having intramuscular or IV ketamine.
So I’ve been trying to like get myself in a really good place while I’m in these treatments and get the best out of them.
1:01:46
And I have been listening to shamanic drumming and I’ve just started listening to like just the drumming instead of the guided meditations.
And you know, just sit there and try and like relax.
And when I do start seeing have like little mild visuals and things like that, I just sort of like observe them and let them unfold.
1:02:09
And it wasn’t until today that I remembered right before the last treatment I had before I left for New Orleans.
I was listening to same meditation and I was seeing, like, bombs going off, which was really weird to me.
1:02:29
And I didn’t think anything of it.
I was just like, that’s weird.
Like, that’s not normally the type of thing that I see when I’m having a ketamine treatment And I’m meditating and I’m like, allowing my mind’s eye to do its thing.
And I was seeing bombs going off.
1:02:45
And I was like, this is really weird.
Yeah.
And I try not to judge like what I’m seeing because I know I’m just in a meditative state and I’m on drugs.
So I don’t want to engage too much with anything.
I just sort of observe it and let it like go away.
1:03:01
I had forgotten about that until I started today’s treatment.
I was like, I wonder if I was picking up on something that was going on that was like building up like an energy that was building up before this happened, because that happened right when Mars was.
1:03:21
Wasn’t Mars conjunct the South node right before the eclipse?
And that kind of acts like a trigger for things like that?
And when Mars is conjunct the South node, that can be really crazy.
So I don’t know.
1:03:36
I’m wondering if we were all picking up on this energy beforehand, and I’m wondering if this whole eclipse season is going to be more about like LeBron themes and diplomacy and in a human rights kind of way and in a global situation, ’cause that’s what it’s feeling like.
1:03:58
And I also think around the same time that was when Kevin McCarthy got eclipsed out of the the House Speaker.
Did you see his picture today?
He was sitting behind Jordan, right?
That’s his name.
1:04:14
Jim Jordan.
He was sitting behind him, laughing his ass off at him after he lost the vote.
I mean, it was he a laugh though.
He had to have what like 10 votes or some shit like.
That 1515 man and Jordan lost by like 20 votes.
1:04:35
Everyone thought it was going to be like seven or eight.
It was 20, dude.
I know that Hillary Clinton calling the Trump voters a basket of deplorables cost her the election, but honestly, she was fucking right.
1:04:55
And maybe she shouldn’t have said that ’cause it was a little tactless, but it was fucking true.
Because I cannot keep these people straight, Annie.
They’re I can’t either.
I don’t even know.
I don’t know.
1:05:12
It’s it is a basket of deplorables in that whole camp of politics over there.
It’s like you have like Madison Cawthorne, who’s like part of the Joshua generation, run around in like women’s bras while touting family values.
1:05:31
Like, I don’t care if you want to wear a bra, bro, but just don’t be judging other people for acting that way.
And like, I dude, I can’t even start.
Like, the Trump administration just on its own was like an alphabet soup of fucking insane people.
1:05:48
I could not keep these people straight.
And people are always like, oh, you know, this guy from the Trump administration?
It was just like a revolving door of fucking clowns.
And there were so many of them that I can’t even keep straight what’s going on.
And I feel like it’s just getting worse.
1:06:06
Like, and the insanity is getting worse.
Like some of the stuff that these people have been up to is insane.
It’s insane.
And they’re like in public office and everybody’s OK with it.
It’s like we have child molesters.
We got like, I guess I should say he’s, Wait, he covered up for child molesters?
1:06:27
I don’t know what he did.
We had all kinds of gross people in there that I can’t even believe.
I can’t even believe that people are able to be like, Oh well, I can just set that aside.
They’re still a great person.
I’m going to vote.
For them.
And how is it that we have Who is this Senator Menendez?
1:06:49
And then we got fucking Santos.
These people are under indictment and they’re still in our Congress.
Get them the fuck out.
Like, why are they there?
I’m very tired of losers being in charge.
1:07:05
These people suck and like they’re not intelligent and they do not care about fixing things and they’re liars like Santos.
Like, it blows my mind that he is in fucking Congress, especially because he stole money from campaign funds.
1:07:23
His campaign fund is currently negative because they had to pay so much money back.
It’s.
Insane.
And then I saw him today getting in a fight with somebody like going into the chambers or whatever, and I’m just like these people are are trash they.
1:07:41
Aren’t all trash.
I have been accused of being of being white trash in my life and I am just like whatever.
Maybe I am.
So it takes 1 to know one and all of these people are white fucking trash.
1:07:57
We have white trash.
We have nothing but like white trash running our fucking government.
It’s disgusting.
I just want to tell these people to go take their crack pipes and go home to their little trailers where they can, like fucking get each other pregnant and like, stop legislation, stop trying to legislate bills.
1:08:19
I like.
I can’t.
I can’t.
You guys can’t govern like you probably couldn’t even run an HOA like.
Yes.
They’re so incompetent, all of them.
And I don’t care what party it is, Democrats are just not as annoying as Republicans.
1:08:36
I mean, the Republican Party is imploding right now, and I’m very much enjoying that part of it.
Because like once they implode, I hope the Democratic Party implodes because we need new people.
The only way to get new people is for all these people to destroy each other.
1:08:52
Like, let’s make this happen.
Destroy each other and make room.
I still think there is a sense of decorum in the the Democratic Party, and I don’t like that they are all bought out by corporate interests.
For the most part.
1:09:08
I have a huge problem with that.
And I think that there’s a lot of corruption with like political lobbies and like, yeah, they’re a lot of Democrats that are definitely bought by private interest and they’re like pro banking.
And I’m like not into that.
1:09:23
But I also think that, like, there are certain things where they’re still on the right side of history on, and it’s more practical for me to, like, vote for them.
For example, like, you know, women’s rights, things like that.
1:09:43
Like, it’s important.
But I don’t think that where we are right now with the Democratic Party is going to get us where we need to be because at this point we’re just treading water, trying to maintain what we have and not moving forward anymore.
And I’m really tired of feeling like I’m offending people every time I talk about, first of all, why can’t anyone in the Democratic Party say the word abortion?
1:10:08
Abortion.
We’re not talking about.
I don’t want to talk about terminating a pregnancy or Women’s Health.
We’re talking about fucking abortions.
And the less you say the word, the more shameful that word becomes.
Like it’s not a shameful thing to have an abortion and it’s not a shameful thing to give birth.
1:10:29
It’s not a shameful thing to have a fucking vagina and need health care for it.
And Nope, everybody wants to pussyfoot around because we’re afraid we’re going to offend people by saying things like that.
And it bothers me that like, we have fucking grown ass people representing us in the Democratic Party, mostly boomers.
1:10:54
They’re people of a certain age, and they can’t even say the word abortion because it’s like they’re afraid of the Pearl clutching.
And it’s like we need to get over the Pearl clutching and fucking normalize this.
Because the more that we act ashamed that that is what the procedure is called.
1:11:12
Like the farther and farther away we’re going to get from having any kind of sense of autonomy over our bodies.
I it just it makes me so angry.
It makes me so angry.
Well.
1:11:30
You know, I think like when it comes to Republicans and Democrats, 1 stabs you in the chest and one stabs you in the back.
I do vote Democrat because of women’s rights and that is the only reason and that’s if there is not an independent candidate.
1:11:49
I haven’t voted Republican or Democrat for president since, like, I think Obama, the first time I’ve did vote for Obama because that was exciting.
And it would seem like a real change was going to happen.
But just kidding.
1:12:05
So yeah, I just think that as long as there’s money to be made, corporate money, we will never have good politicians and totally agree.
1:12:27
And I feel like with Democrats, they say the right thing, but they had 40 years to make abortion permanently legal and they didn’t do it.
It was their choice because there was always something for them to use during political season.
1:12:46
And they failed to realize that, like Republicans sometimes do, get it together enough to fucking do shit and like.
They never they.
I feel like they don’t do anything.
They just say things that are appeasing to people.
1:13:03
So, like, you know, right now in Congress, the only one that I’m like kind of, like interested in is the dude who doesn’t, like, wear a suit and calls everybody an idiot who’s in Congress.
1:13:20
That’s fun.
You know, Like, I feel like we need more real people like that.
And like, take all the lawyers out of this shit.
Like let’s bring real people back into our Congress and like, make real amendments and real changes.
1:13:37
Because otherwise we’re going to keep doing what we’re doing.
I agree to, to some extent, agree with what you’re saying.
But I also feel like, I feel like someone that’s taking corporate money and being like just a basically like a fucking puppet is a lot different than like literally trying to wage a Christian jihad and like institute a theocracy in America, which is what is going on right now.
1:14:12
So it’s like I.
Mean the Al Qaeda is a lot?
Yeah, the Al Qaeda I keep calling Texas Haudi Arabia and people get Really.
Cancel I’m like, I’m just living the dream in Saudi Arabia.
1:14:37
Appropriate.
I yeah.
I’m just like, so that’s my whole thing is like I don’t think I can like morally equate the two parties.
While I will admit that like our system is broken and purchased.
1:14:55
I like just feel like I need to stop the G the Christian jihadists first before they turn us into some kind of fucked up version of The Handmaid’s Tale and then we can go after the Democrats for being shitty like.
1:15:12
But I’m a Virgo Rising, so I think practically that’s that’s what I’m saying.
And while I am gonna just since this might be going out in public, I will say I mean this symbolically, not literally.
1:15:32
But I have been noticing a lot of people making stickers and guillotines that say are we there yet on.
Them.
Oh my God, I haven’t seen that.
But that is.
No, I know.
I I mean, I think it’s cute and funny, but at the same time, it’s like, do you guys do know that the French, like, had to go through multiple revolutions to get to where they are?
1:15:57
Like they had the first one and that was the terror, which was obviously taking things way too far.
And then they had like Napoleon for a while, then they had a king for a while.
This is probably not accurate from a chronological level and then a couple more revolutions and like here we are.
1:16:17
But yeah, I just, I’m like, you guys want to go through this messy ass process for a couple of decades.
Is that what we want to do?
And I’m like, I don’t know, I’m 40.
I don’t know if I but that I think that’s part of the problem is I’m like I’m 40.
I’m too lazy to go like, you know, you know, live on for 30 years of like, nightmare to make it a better future because I’m a fucking selfish asshole.
1:16:43
So.
But sometimes I’m like, I don’t know what am I supposed to do right now, What am I supposed to do right now?
But I don’t know.
Have you been feeling like, energetically, like, weird, like with everything that’s happening and the like eclipse energy and all the crazy, like, outer planet transits that we’ve been having?
1:17:05
Like I feel just unsettled right now.
I definitely do.
And I mean, I’ve been feeling, you know, this was a rough summer with the Venus retrograde for me.
And the whole job situation is interesting because I got the job right after an eclipse and I got fired like right before the eclipse and it was like a terrible situation.
1:17:34
So personally I was feeling.
I’ve I’ve been feeling like very insane and chaotic.
And now I mean when the world is in the state that it’s in, if I am not like just being like in my cocoon, I am a very nervous person.
1:17:54
And I just think a lot of people are just terrified right now because what happens, what’s going to happen if war breaks out?
We see what happened during a pandemic.
What if something like that happens?
1:18:09
Then what are we in for?
And that is what is terrifying.
Yeah, it’s really scary.
I just hope and pray that we can come all globally out of this better than we went in, which I know is a tall order, but I guess hope springs eternal.
1:18:38
It’s fucking sad and you’re getting attacked by a salt wedge.
Oh my God.
Well, a salt wedge is not coming anymore.
What?
There was weeks of are we going to have water?
1:18:57
Do we need to build the pipeline?
What’s happening?
And now it’s not coming, which is great.
So basically, you know the Mississippi needs fresh water from rain, and it didn’t rain that much.
1:19:17
So like all the salt water from the ocean is like coming in and now downriver.
This happens every year.
I think it’s like Plaquemines Parish.
They deal with this shit.
That’s where they have the Oyster Fest, right?
1:19:34
Maybe, probably, I don’t know.
There’s so many festivals everywhere, but usually the salt doesn’t make it up this way.
And so we have that problem.
We also have like the water level of the Mississippi itself, there have been no ships coming through because the water is not high enough.
1:19:57
So like you know, this is something that.
It’s not been talked about a lot, but like the shipping is a big issue and so we have to see what happens with that.
Anyways, the Army Corps of Engineers, they built some kind of something in the Mississippi.
1:20:19
They like dredged everything and kind of moved the water around, I don’t know, science, science, science, technology.
Now that shit’s not coming, so we dodged a bullet luckily, but who knows what next year will bring.
1:20:36
I am a little nervous about these eclipses in our nodes because in 2005 that was Hurricane Katrina for me.
The last time the South node was in Libra.
So I have been very nervous about this this whole time, but I think, I think that first eclipse was after Hurricane Katrina.
1:21:03
But like if it’s going to be similar to that, that means I’m going to be homeless, looking for a job and like living in chaos again.
So like these nodes make me extremely nervous Now when the north node is in Libra, though every time it has been, I’ve had a really great time.
1:21:23
So whatever.
Hopefully, like with the North node being an Aries, you can have some of a good time with it.
Maybe we’ll see.
And I really fucking hope nothing happens weather wise to you guys down there.
1:21:41
It’s.
That I am still so sad at how much of the city has changed and like how much it has continued to change.
It is not the same like.
I don’t know it from pre Katrina, but I know it like from what you’ve said like just totally uprooted everyone like and took everyone that made that place wonderful out and I it has become like a fucking got shock doctrine hard and I feel like going back there too after.
1:22:19
Like New Orleans has always been like a very stabilizing energy for me.
I don’t know why I always like leave there feeling connected to myself and like, hopeful.
I think I’m like, I don’t go down there to like do the Bourbon Street stuff.
I just go down there to like vibe and like hang out and eat and, you know, listen to music and be around people.
1:22:40
But the last couple times I’ve been there, it’s like I feel like I’m in a state of mourning and loss.
For like a lot of things right now, and New Orleans just feels different.
And I it doesn’t feel like the same place at all.
1:23:01
Even like from 10 years ago, you know, it feels totally different.
And the people feel different there.
They don’t feel as welcoming, and not that they’re unwelcoming, but it’s.
You used to feel like a safety around all the people because everybody was so open and like, loving and kind and it just seems like everybody’s kind of checked out.
1:23:27
But I also felt like that the last time I was back in Chicago.
And I also feel like that here in Austin, and I feel like I’m like kind of grieving for a world that doesn’t exist anymore.
And that’s really sad.
1:23:44
It really bums me out sometimes because it’s like my whole life I’ve never felt like I’ve had a home and like, I’ve never found home.
And like the places that felt like home to me were ephemeral places.
Like there were places I was.
1:24:00
I would get a feeling in Chicago when I was in certain places or around certain people where I’d feel like I was home.
And same thing with New Orleans.
And I don’t.
I don’t feel that anymore.
Anywhere.
People don’t feel right.
1:24:16
They feel different.
And I am all about doing new things and like being able to harness what is new and accepting the fact that I’m older.
I don’t think this is because I’m older.
I think it’s because people are fucking different now.
1:24:31
I think we have changed.
Like I don’t think we will ever really understand how much.
The pandemic has changed us until it’s been a couple decades out, but I think it’s like really fucked with our heads.
Yeah, 100%.
1:24:49
And I think like living with just like this constant chaos since the pandemic.
And even right before the pandemic, the Trump election was like a lot.
1:25:06
And social media has become a lot.
And we’re just constantly being bombarded by bad news.
And I think it’s warped everyone’s psyche.
And I think that people have also forgotten that, like, what made things great with Made America great?
1:25:31
We’re the communities and the people living in the community making it their home.
And we’re all so fractured and everybody’s a potential enemy that we have lost our way, we have lost our humanity.
1:25:48
That’s what it feels like.
And I think about some of the greatest things that have, like, ever come out of America.
And I feel like a lot of them are born out of adversity.
You know, you have like great art and great music and you know new thinkers and people who have, like, had great philosophies and things that have changed the world.
1:26:13
And a lot of them came in the face of adversity.
And I feel like it’s time now.
I and I think those things came because they were people that were trying to.
Create that community and that home inside the chaos.
1:26:29
And I think like, especially as sensitive people, like both of us are sensitive and really emotional.
Like we want to know what’s going on and we want to be informed.
And there’s like a guilt kind of associated with like checking out and like not knowing what’s going on because then you don’t feel like you’re staying abreast of things.
1:26:49
But it’s not a sustainable state.
Like you have to ground yourself somehow.
And we don’t have community anymore and we don’t have that.
Like, I just, I really want to.
I don’t know how to do this, but I really want to build something where we can, like, make it feel like home again.
1:27:10
Like a like, safe place.
Like, you know that song, A Place Called Home by PJ Harvey?
I’ve been listening to that so much.
Like, that song is like this moment for me right now.
And I’m like hoping that that can be something that happens in the future ’cause this is unsustainable right now.
1:27:29
This is why everything is crazy.
A 100%.
Well, on that, I think we have covered enough trash for this week.
Life.
1:27:46
Yeah, it’s been a little depressing.
The world is a little depressing right now.
But let’s all try to remember our humanity and let’s remind ourselves of what brings us joy.
And every day we should be taking a moment to just, you know, if we’re not out and about doing fun things, just think about what gives you joy.
1:28:11
For me, lately it’s been listening to music with my headphones on and I just get immersed and like I am living my best life in my musical life and that brings me joy and calm and peace.
1:28:28
What brings you joy, calm and peace?
I think lately I’ve been experiencing most of my joy just by kind of.
Centering in my house like burning incense and like trying to be grateful, like have gratitude.
1:28:55
I think about like everything that I’ve been through in the last, like few years, especially since like I moved to Texas and things got really fucked up for me for a long time.
I’m so thankful I’m not in that place anymore and even though I’m broker than I have ever been like I have.
1:29:16
I feel like I have like a great, like little tight knit community of people that I love and I have my animals and I have my husband and just like burning my incense and focusing on like.
1:29:33
Making shit lately has been great, like getting creative, listening to some good music, like kind of like focusing on turning inward as opposed to being focused on the outward.
1:29:50
So that’s just what I’m trying to do to like balance.
And it’s been nice, like just chill vibes, you know, trying to trying to chill vibes.
I’m in Aries.
It’s not going to last that long, but I have a moment to chill, so I love it.
1:30:07
Well, everyone who’s been listening, thanks for listening and I hope you find your joy and your calmness and your peace and have a great week everyone.
Yeah.
Thanks for tuning in.
We’ll see you soon.