Transcript (Auto Generated):

0:00
If I’m going to do cocaine it’s going to be in a fabulous outfit and not in that cat piss den.
I want to like relive fucking Club 54 not like fucking die in a basement where no one will find me because the students cats all ate me and his parents bits and shit themselves.
0:25
Hi, I’m Annie.
And I’m Elle, and welcome to our trash parade.
Hey, girl.
How are you?
Ola.
I’m good.
How are you?
0:41
I’m doing great.
So I want to talk about our favorite subject ever.
Annie, tell me how you feel about the suburbs, specifically the suburbs where we grew up on the Northwest side of Chicago.
1:00
So we’ll, let’s describe the vibe.
We’ll start.
OK, let’s.
Start with the vibes.
So, you know, we were born in the 80s.
We’re like elder millennials.
So we were like coming of age in the 90s.
1:18
So this is 90s into, well, I was gone by 2003, but into that era, we’ll say it’s mostly 90s, late 90s.
So you know, when I moved out there as a kid, we moved out from Chicago.
1:36
It was like, not overly populated, but by the time we left, I left.
It was huge.
So I grew up in a place called Mount Prospect.
So you have like, Arlington Heights.
1:52
You have Schaumburg, you have Rolling Meadows.
What else is over there?
Elk Grove.
With the strip club heavenly.
Bodies.
Heavenly bodies.
I forgot about heavenly bodies.
2:11
It’s still there, dude.
It’s still there.
And I know I think they have like a free buffet there, ’cause they can’t, I don’t know, like some legal thing requires them to have food.
So they have, like, all those gross pizzas, like just rotating under like heat lamps.
2:29
It just sounds like the last thing that I want is to, like, get on a gentleman’s lap and do a sexy dance while he’s eating like fucking Red Baron pizza that’s been bent, like like heated up by a fucking lamp.
2:49
And I just can’t imagine, like, how uncomfortable that has to be.
I just feel like the pizza makes that place gross.
Like it’s so gross.
And that is a vibe of the suburbs.
3:04
There is this white trashness of the northwest suburbs of Chicago.
And further out, I mean, it gets trashier the further out you go.
Now, not every suburb of Chicago is trashy.
I mean, there’s some very, like, nice, very wealthy suburbs, You know, I feel like where I grew up was OK You know, there’s parts of Mount Prospect that are super cute, you know, like where I went to elementary school, very nice neighborhood.
3:36
But then there’s like parts that are just trash.
So you have a lot of people who grew up in the burbs and grew up in like the country.
I don’t know, I don’t even know the cornfields.
3:54
They grew up in the cornfields and then they came to the suburbs to be closer to Chicago.
But you don’t want to be in the city because it’s scary danger, black people, all that good stuff, right?
Yeah, and air quotes having emphasis on the air quotes.
There, yeah.
4:09
I mean you, you have a the suburb star because obviously white flight.
So that’s why, you know, there’s there’s that whole part of the population of the suburbs.
So you got white trash, you got racist.
You have a lot immigrants, though.
4:25
So you know, where I grew up, like my neighbors on one side were from Cuba, on the other side they were from India.
You know, my dad’s from Italy, he’s from Sicily.
There’s a lot of Italians around there.
4:41
You had a lot of different Hispanic populations.
So it was very mixed.
Where we’re from, there’s other suburbs of Chicago not so mixed.
It’s very, very white.
So, but that’s why, you know, we got a lot of weird shit.
5:00
So you got a melting pot of weirdness going on, which is great on one hand and then on the other hand not so great.
It’s almost like a class system.
It’s.
Totally a class system.
5:17
I felt like there was always like some kind of like pecking order, like that was going on out in the suburbs.
Like, what kind of family are you and what do you look like?
Who do you affiliate with?
And I don’t know, it’s just very weird.
It was very about, like, keeping up with appearances, and I was not fond of that aspect.
5:40
I guess for context, like, if this were the John Hughes movie, Annie and I would live with Andy and Ducky from Pretty in Pink.
That would be our character.
And then there would be like a bunch of like Stefan’s and Blaine’s as well mixed in.
6:00
That felt like they were better than everybody else.
But it wasn’t until we grew up and realized that those people don’t really have any money either, that we were like, oh wow, like you guys are trashy too.
Well, that I think that was the biggest thing, being out of the suburbs.
6:19
Even when we were there, I think we knew it was trashy.
I mean, you have, you have like the popular kids consumerism was huge, so like, name brands.
You.
Know this is late 90s, early 2000s consumerism was like at an all time high.
6:40
You know, if you look back at like music videos at that time and commercials, it was just like a constant like buy this, buy this, buy this, go in debt, it’s totally fine.
Like our economy is great, whatever.
So you know you have your popular kids, they always were have money because they always had name brands and a lot of them, you know, their parents were maybe lawyers, you have a lot of doctors, just a lot of medical professionals.
7:13
You know if you they were really wealthy though they were living a little further out, you know Barrington or going to private school.
So you know, you that was like your first tier and then it kind of went from there.
7:29
You know, we were goth kids, so rock’n’roll kids.
So we are like in that, well, I we’re off to the side in that weird group.
But I also was not part of that group totally either there.
7:47
Were a few groups that we kind of, like moved through.
Yeah, to high school.
Like, there were like the art kids that we hung out with, which were still cool people.
And then there were like the other group of people.
8:04
Like, I don’t know, we were just like a weird collection of, like, art kids and like, burnouts and like, yeah, it was just weird.
But those people seem to have like the most kind of, like, permeability to be able to, like, move between different groups of people.
8:22
But I don’t know I.
Feel like there was a lot of us who didn’t ever really belong in one group.
You had your groups, and then there’s I feel like a group of kids who would move in between the groups because, like, I mean, if you were in bands, so I was in orchestra, yeah.
8:44
Band kids like, we’re fucking weird.
They stuck together.
I feel like chorus kids stuck together.
Oh.
My God, dude, the fucking show choir people.
Oh God.
Like, I think every school has this.
9:00
And like, I recognize that, like, show choir brings a lot of people so much joy.
But like, remember Glee is based off of one of the schools in our school district.
I don’t know if it was Prospect maybe.
9:16
I did not know that.
Yes, dude, it’s based off of where we’re from.
Like I had somebody at work a few months ago, I said something about how like I had ran out of my good blush.
So I’ve been using some of my lipstick to get like, the right blush color.
9:36
And she was like, spoken like a true show choir nerd.
And I was like, I was not in fucking show choir.
I was like, why the fuck do you think I give off those kind of vibes?
Like if you think I’m going to get in a room with a bunch of other people and cooperate with them while making jazz hands?
9:54
Like you clearly don’t know me at all.
Like, yeah.
So I just want to say that I don’t make any, like, moral judgments on anybody that, like, loves show tunes and is musical and likes musicals.
It’s not my jam and it does like, annoy the fuck out of me.
10:13
And those people were all, like, fucking each other.
It was like, really weird.
Absolutely, like our.
Kids got like, more ass than anybody else did in high school.
Like, they were all looking at each other.
And I was just like, this is so weird.
10:32
What could you imagine?
Do you think they like a jazz hand while they’re, like, climaxing?
They’re.
Probably saying to each other and shit they danced into each other’s arms like.
10:49
Oh my God.
I can imagine, like, every encounter being like that scene in Dirty Dancing where a baby is like trying to do the jump and like Patrick Swayze, like catching her.
And then they’re like, why am I talking about this?
11:12
I’m like, grossed out.
I OK, show choir people.
I have no beef with you.
It’s just.
I mean, every group is annoying in their own way, so show prior kids they have their own weird, you know, but they stayed with each other.
11:27
So like, I mean the most annoying they would get is like, yeah, sometimes you get a lot singing for like no reason.
And it’s that like nasally tone that became popular in the 90s.
I really fucking hate the sound of that musical singing.
11:50
It’s like, OK, think of fucking the musical rent.
Rent came out during that time period and I don’t know how many times you’re high on.
12:05
I heard that.
Shut the fuck up.
It was so much.
Dude, I know, I know.
I I felt like the rent soundtrack was inescapable for like 2 decades and I just was like, why are you trying to make me get into this?
12:34
Like, I can’t?
Well, if you just gave it a listen, bitch.
I have listened to it.
How do you think?
I know I don’t like it.
That’s because I listened to it.
It’s not good.
Well, you don’t understand the story and it’s like, I totally understand the story.
I would have rather read it in a book like Quiet Silent Book.
12:54
I remember we went to go see, so I did like my senior year go to Europe for with art club, which wasn’t real.
I love that art club was something like my teacher made-up on yearbook picture day.
13:09
And then we decided that we were art club, so we went to go see, go see fame in London.
And I was just like, why is this happening right now?
13:24
Like, the guy is like strung out on drugs, but he’s doing like split leaps and barrel leaps across the stage.
And like, I’m like, man, like, you guys have really never seen anybody like, strung out on drugs, ’cause they don’t fucking do that, like.
They don’t just.
13:39
Like decide while detoxing from drugs or whatever the fuck was going on that they need to like do these like highly coordinated barrel leaps and you know, split leaps which like take a lot of fucking practice and coordination.
13:55
And I’m like, yeah, that’s I’m like why is I don’t understand how that’s adding anything to like selling me on the emotion.
It’s not selling me on the emotion.
And I was like, this is this is terrible.
And like, so I was in Europe with all the show choir kids because they were there.
14:14
I think some people from orchestra were there, whatever, musical people.
OK, so this is like 2001.
And Moulin Rouge had just come out that year, girl, the entire trip.
The entire trip, every tour bus, everywhere we went.
14:36
So we’re like going to fucking France now.
More like in Pigal going down the fucking St. and like we’re passing the Moulin Rouge and everybody’s like but it’s like an entire fucking school bus full of people.
14:55
I wanted to like fucking die was so embarrassed.
I was just like yes, everyone knows that song and everyone knows that that’s the only thing you know how to fucking say in French too.
Which is probably not a good idea since you’re all a bunch of 18 year olds.
15:13
It was.
So fucking annoying dude.
I was like shut the fuck up.
I was like, we’re never going to hear the end of the stupid song.
That was a fun trip though because I got my nipples pierced and I don’t recommend going to a foreign country if you don’t speak the language to get anybody modification done.
15:35
But I was 18 and an idiot, and I got a fucking needle stuck in my nipples because I got pierced by an apprentice that I didn’t realize was an apprentice.
And I.
15:51
Screamed so fucking loud that I scared people out of like, the waiting room.
And the lady kept begging me not to punch her.
And that was like the only thing she knew how to say to me in English.
And I was like, I’m not going to punch you.
16:08
You had to get the fucking needle out of my nipple.
Dude.
Oh my God.
Like if you don’t put those needles in like a a solid movement, like it will swell immediately.
Like you need to just pull it right in and out.
But she didn’t, like, push hard enough, so my nipples swelled up like around the needle and she had to like, rip the thing out.
16:33
And I was just like, thank God, like I didn’t.
I mean, this place was clean.
I just was like getting pierced by an amateur.
But it makes for a good story at least.
Yeah, kids don’t go get body modded out in another country, especially if you don’t speak the language.
16:56
Like it’s one thing if you can like talk to people and know stuff, but like if you’re 18 and you want to put like a hole in your body you’re going to tattoo.
I recommend getting a translator or waiting and doing your homework or something.
But anyways, don’t get a needle stuck in your nipple.
17:16
All right, so back to the suburbs.
So we got the classes, we got, we got different sub genres of people.
Subcultures were big in the 90s.
You had a whole lot.
You had rave kids.
17:33
You had like, I mean, being nerdy was a thing, being that popular girl was a thing.
You know, you.
Yeah, yeah.
I mean if you watch a late 90s movie, that is like our existence growing up.
17:56
So which, you know, I feel like for us was cool as kids that have all those different like sub genres and subcultures to pick from, you know, made things way more interesting than it is now.
I feel like things are really.
Mogenic.
18:13
Yeah, 100%, Yeah.
I think.
I mean, I’m sure it’s kind of the same now as like lots of different groups of people that like, stick together based on interest.
But I think the thing that like made the suburbs trashy, you know, like there was like open that we just discussed like the racism thing and like the materialism thing.
18:40
I think, like, what made it like a trashy place to me, in my opinion, it was that there was like no culture really happening there.
Like, right.
It was like people were very into, like how they appeared on the outside, but there were like no museums, like no places to well, we made places to go see shows.
19:03
But like people were not seeming to be like involved in anything like outside of their world.
And if you were involved in something outside of like, what you were seeing every day were like really weird.
And a lot of those folks were like really into their money.
19:23
And like, if you didn’t have money, like people would fucking make fun of you for being poor.
Like, to your face.
Like, I remember when I was in 8th grade that, like, I got made fun of for being poor because like, I didn’t have like, the shoes that everybody had.
19:43
Because I didn’t know, like, what shoes to buy for like my school uniform.
And like, then they found out my mom was a waitress.
So like everybody would just like taunt me and like call me more and shit like that.
And like, I don’t know if kids are like this today, you know, but I feel like it it wouldn’t be OK today to like make fun of somebody for being poor.
20:09
Like I think that’s like such a that.
But that just like sums up how people raise their kids and what they taught them to value back then.
So it was very about like.
You know, I have to have like my Louis Vuitton bag and I have to have like my spray tan and all the right little logos on everything so that, like, you don’t think I pass.
20:37
But it’s like you don’t appreciate the Louis Vuitton bag, ’cause you don’t know where it fucking came from.
You don’t know how it was made.
You can’t tell me how like all of the couturiers work in France and like why that bag is important.
It’s just like a label to you and it’s like that kind of thing.
20:56
It’s like, I don’t give a shit if you’re into whatever, but like at least have an opinion of knowing like why you value something and like be able to articulate that.
As opposed to being like, I have to have this, I have to have that and like more and more and more.
21:12
And like if the other people you’re around like don’t look like you do or have all the same stuff as you do, like there’s something wrong with them.
Like that was very much my experience out there.
And that also like bled into how you’re expected to behave when you’re in public and like what you can and can’t talk about.
21:35
But I think, yeah, people were very, very scared of, like saying their opinion.
And that is something I learned really early in school because like I always had an opinion and I, my parents always have an opinion and they will tell me their opinion and I inherited that trait.
22:01
That’s very early.
And I found that, you know, I mean, I love debating and stuff.
So like, in class, I would always debate with people.
And like, sometimes I would take a side I don’t necessarily necessarily believe just to like, debate it.
22:20
But I would notice it would just be like a handful of us in every class, the same kids over and over again who are, like, willing to speak up and like, be outside that norm and be OK with it.
Yeah, I feel like, yeah, there was a point where I could have gone a very like traditional, you know, that suburban middle class girl.
22:45
But like I veered off and went, I don’t know, I was a musician so I went into like every fat suburban girls thing which is goth.
So I feel like there is a lot of us in that group.
23:03
I mean, a lot of people were listening to like hardcore music back then, whether it was like, you know, rock music or like rap music.
Rap music was very different back then than it is now.
Like it was about something, you know, fighting the power, all that.
23:22
And you had a lot of that in rock music too, where it’s like fighting like this weird, like standard, you know, because you come out of 80s Reagan and in that the early 90s, the George Bush era.
23:38
So it was very conservative for a long time.
So there’s a lot of pushback on that conservative life, you know, in the music at least and in the art.
I feel like art was like killer back then but like it was still wasn’t like cool for kids to be speaking up like that and.
24:02
Not a peer.
Group would like shun you, you know, and and some some groups were more open than others but like it seems like the more popular you were, the more you did not have a different opinion.
So and that brings you into a whole different thing there because that’s the like mentality of people there.
24:27
You don’t step out of line.
You don’t talk outside the house about certain things and like, you know, there’s a lot of drugs in the suburbs and there’s a lot of alcoholism in the suburbs.
24:46
Like, I feel like everybody has an opinion about the suburbs that, like, you go out there and it’s idyllic.
And I think that’s kind of like a holdover from the 60s, you know, where people were going into this like suburban Mecca where everything like made sense and it was convenient and the houses were bigger and the kids could run around because it was safe.
25:10
I’m saying all that in like air quotes, but that was like the the dream for a lot of folks.
And like a lot of that has to do with like white flight, whatever have you.
Anyways, like everybody that I knew was on fucking drugs.
And if they weren’t on drugs, their parents were on drugs, or everybody was not just.
25:29
Like pot, Like hair.
No.
Big back then, and like this opioid crisis we have now, it started in the 90s and then the pills came out in the aughts, and it’s been downhill since then.
25:46
That is something that makes me so angry because I know that there is a complicated issue of like, yes, there is like a worsening of the the fentanyl and heroin crisis and all that stuff because of things like fentanyl and like all the stuff that’s going on.
26:06
I understand there’s some nuance to that, but I will say this has been going on forever.
And, like, it’s just getting worse, but people are acting like it’s some kind of a new fucking problem.
Like, everybody that I knew, like, either knew someone that died of a heroin overdose or had done heroin themselves.
26:29
And like, this is when we’re in high school, so this isn’t like.
Even before that I the one who shall not be named.
But you know them.
I was at their house and somebody else was there and they were doing heroin.
26:49
And I want to say that was eighth grade.
And I at the time, I I mean, I had some knowledge of drugs, but not heroin.
27:05
I had interacted more with coke users and Alcoholics, you know, like throwing up and stuff.
And I was like, what the fuck is happening?
And then, like, I, it took me a couple days to really realize, like, Oh my God, they were fucking, like, doing heroin in the bathroom.
27:23
Why am I at their house?
And it was I I just like couldn’t believe it.
You know, Like heroin is something that like happens to like rock stars and like people in the gutter, not fucking 8th graders in the suburbs of Chicago.
27:43
And that, yeah, we were.
I mean, there was a lot of it.
Around.
There was so much heroin around and like, it was people you had never even expect because we had like heroin chic going on.
27:59
So people felt like, oh, like your kids don’t look like that.
They must not be doing heroin.
Well, congratulations.
Like most of the heroin addicts I knew were fat and, like, it had acne from, like, their digestive system not working anymore because of, like, fucking heroin.
28:20
You know, Like, you don’t.
There’s nothing wrong with being fat.
I’m just saying, like, they don’t all look like Kate Moss, you know, like.
But a lot of folks were like people you would never like expect were on heroin because they.
Didn’t have that.
28:35
Like power or like the skinniness, you know.
They didn’t look like models, you know.
Well, also you, you know, this is the teenage years.
So, like, kids are already Moody.
Their skin already looks like shit.
28:51
So, like a lot.
I think a lot of people just like, adults pack stuff away and it’s just like, oh, they’re just being teenagers and like, not realizing there’s problems.
And like, there’s a pills came on the scene.
29:08
I remember later on in high school I have very, like, so my brother died from drugs.
And so he started doing drugs very early.
He was like 14.
Maybe he didn’t start off with heroin, but it went to heroin later on.
29:25
So it’s coke.
So Coke was around, I mean, from the 80s.
Coke was huge in the 80s.
And like, there’s a lot of Coke in the suburbs.
You had a lot of people who, you know, owned their own businesses back then and like, you know, you could kind of do what you wanted in the burbs a little bit more.
29:47
But like, you see people buying shit, going into debt for shit, and then hiding behind closed doors and doing drugs and drinking.
Their kids see it now.
My parents are not like drug users or anything, but like, you saw this a lot.
30:06
Like my friend who was in the bathroom.
Her mom was a drug addict, you know?
So it’s like the cycle I had already started and it just grew in the 90s.
30:22
And a lot of people don’t ever realize it’s happening because that person probably does live behind the house.
Everybody’s supposed to have, like they do have like the clothes and the look of like somebody that’s normal and blends in.
30:38
But, like, there is no community in the suburbs.
Not amongst adults at least.
And no one ever really knows what’s going on.
Like you may never ever talk to your neighbor.
Like, ever.
You know, you might know nothing about them.
30:54
And I think that’s what makes it trashy, is that, like, it’s all fake.
It’s all fake.
Like there’s nothing, like, there’s nothing safe and normal about like what went on there when we were younger.
31:10
It was like a dangerous place, full of people who are just as fucked up as you would get anywhere else.
They just look more socially acceptable, like.
And there’s functioning addicts.
You have so many functioning addicts.
31:26
I think it’s a lot easier to hide that kind of thing when you don’t have any, like community involvement and like you don’t have to rely on your neighbors because you feel so safe, you know, and it’s.
It’s isolating and the other.
Thing is.
31:43
You like, have to have a car if you want to go places you know you can’t, just like hop on the on the train or on the bus and just like go, like in high school, you’re all waiting for who’s going to have the car, you know, Like, I eventually got my little powder blue Ford Tempo.
32:06
I miss the Ninmobile.
I was just thinking about that the other day.
Oh man, You know, like I was lucky.
You know, I I got a car.
Like, I grew up very lucky and privileged and like, I feel very lucky.
32:28
So I got a car and like, I was able to shuffle, you know, us around, whatever.
And like, you know, I wasn’t.
I grew up in a nice house, like it was a big house.
And like, so I feel like I didn’t deal with the holy, like, your poor thing.
32:49
Like, my mom always made sure, like, we had what we needed.
My mom also likes labels.
So, like, I never was asking for, like, Abercrombie, I didn’t even fit in their fucking clothes.
But like, I wanted those Adidas pants, you know, and like a certain style of Adidas pants and all that.
33:11
So and I I mean, even though I’m like, you know, I’m still a kid at that time.
So like, I want to fit in somewhat.
I don’t want to be a total outcast.
I could never, like, go total like goth with my look.
33:27
I was never going to wear black lipstick because it never looked good on me.
You know, there’s a little bit of vanity.
But, you know, I could see, like, just how people were affected mentally when they were like, man, I just want this thing, this thing that everybody else has.
33:47
And I was always like, I don’t understand, like, why you need that logo on you so badly.
That’s so strange to me.
But then it isn’t.
I had to have those pants, you know?
So yeah.
34:04
Those pets were comfortable, though.
They were so comfortable.
I mean, I slept through high school.
I needed them.
Yeah, it was really weird.
Like, I don’t really want to talk about my high school experience like that much.
34:22
Like my, my high school experience was like going from being like, fucking like church kid that like was into all kinds of weird things and then like becoming a weirdo.
I don’t know.
34:38
I had a mental breakdown like shortly after leaving high school.
Probably a long time coming.
But yeah, I don’t know.
It was just like, even at church too.
Like a part of the reason that, like, I stopped going, like, something’s wrong with these people.
34:57
Like, they all look the same.
And like, these are supposed to be people that you’re like in a community with, right?
But have you ever talked about anything like too real or like had displays of emotion?
They were like, what the fuck is wrong with you?
35:13
And like you get totally ostracized and it’s like, well, that’s not, that’s not like very church, right?
You know, it was like all a mechanism to get you to like look the same, act the same, like be the same person.
35:30
And like, I hated it because it was just like I felt for a long time, like really dirty because like my family wasn’t.
Wasn’t like the functional family that was going to send all of their kids to a four year school.
35:48
Like, you know, my mom was a waitress.
And like we had lots of problems growing up.
Like my dad is, was an alcoholic and there was like lots of substance use in and around my life.
And like other things, you know, like on the other side of the family that was hard to deal with as a young person.
36:09
Like, you know, it’s just like a different lifestyle, like rolling into like a really fancy mega church and having like the life experience of like a being like fat.
So everybody thinks you’re like a Sinner because you’re a clutton and you’re not treating your body like a temple.
36:28
So they think you’re fat and you’re lazy.
You know, you don’t wear the kind of like very LL being like Abercrombie Preppy looks and like don’t look like a football player.
So they automatically think like you have a problem and like they judge you, you know, and like you’re not supposed to be here, you know?
36:50
And then like having honest and raw emotions.
Like, I think the the dumbest decision, I think I or dumbest thing I ever did when I was young was like open up to some of the people about like my feelings and my interests and stuff like that at church.
And like stuff that was going on at home.
37:08
Because, like, it was like I was considered a problem, an issue that had to be dealt with, like not a pure human being.
They like, begrudgingly allowed me to go to to that church.
That was like the attitude that people had because like I didn’t come from a good home.
37:28
Like I, you know, my parents were the way that they were and like, I’m the way that I am.
I have like mental health issues and stuff like that.
So it was like, very weird.
It just felt like, you know, you’re not perfect like us.
37:46
And that was like, what I kind of learned.
Like, what about waspiness?
I guess I never felt like Waspy enough for those people.
And that’s like, why I stopped fucking going.
Because I was just like, fuck it.
Like, I’m already having a hard time at home.
38:01
Like fitting in is doing me no good.
And like, all the other stuff that was going on is like the weird religious bullshit.
And like, how that got kind of, like, turned around in my family.
Household is like a tool of control.
38:18
Like, I didn’t know what the fuck was going on.
I was like, fine, You want to treat me like a fucking outcast?
Well, fine.
I am, yeah.
And that was when I, like, reached my peak.
Robert Smith look, I think was in my like junior and senior year of high school.
38:38
So but yeah, it was like high school was a complicated time and like, I just remember being bored all the fucking time.
And there’s nothing to do like.
There’s nothing want to go shopping.
38:54
There’s nothing to fucking do like so we grew up around Woodfield Mall.
They used to fucking bust people in from out of state.
It’s like a tourist attraction.
It’s just a mall.
It’s just like a lot of stores like that is the vibe you have out there, you know?
39:15
Later on, Arlington Heights did a little rebuild, but what did they put there?
Like the fucking gap in like, all these corporations.
It became like a corporate paradise because all those small businesses that were there when we were younger, I don’t know, did you ever go into the Witch Store on Arlington Heights Rd.
39:34
The Lady Big Ass Bird?
Oh my God.
I went in there once with my mom and then I went in there a few more times as like a teenager that eventually closed up and further down the road there was this wonderful patisserie.
We used to get all our birthday.
39:50
Cakes from there.
I don’t know if that’s open anymore.
It was called the patisserie.
Was it?
Yeah.
Can I tell you something about that?
Because my grandma worked there for a minute.
Oh.
My God fixed.
It with brochures so filthy.
40:06
Such a dirty couple place.
We used to get all our birthday cakes there when I was young.
I mean, I don’t know.
Yeah, I mean, gross in the 80s.
I so this was in the 90s when my grandma worked there.
So it was she wasn’t there very much so it was one of the worst jobs she ever had.
40:25
But yeah, that place she said when she worked there had like pest problems, but like, whatever, nobody died.
So.
You know I.
Still, enjoy those cakes.
Yeah, I mean, my first job was at a bakery.
40:44
Where was that?
It was kind of by, like, I don’t know what, God, my brain doesn’t know the streets anymore.
It’s by Holmes Junior High.
So whatever.
41:00
That main road is over there.
Damn.
I haven’t been back in a long time.
But that bakery, I lasted like maybe two days because it was so dirty.
I was 15 years old.
I remember like, cleaning like dead bugs out of the pastry case.
41:18
And then there was like a bee in there and the lady was like, you don’t have time to do that.
And it was just like, there’s nobody here.
Of course I have time to clean this up.
I, like, did not show up anymore.
And then they wouldn’t pay me.
And then my mom called and was like, you better give her her check for I’m reporting you.
41:36
And I was like, yeah, mom, get my money.
Oh my God.
Yeah, I don’t remember that bakery, but that’s that’s a lot.
Like, that’s so gross, dude.
So gross.
I think it’s awesome.
Your mom was like, fuck you pay her.
41:53
Dude, my mom, I found out about a lot of stuff later on that I knew about.
I She yelled at my basketball coach for not playing me like my mom always was, like Mama bear and like yelling at people on behalf of her children.
42:11
I love that.
I love your mom so much.
She’s so cool.
I know she doesn’t Remember Me living with you guys for a minute.
I feel like when people think of like the suburbs, they think of like nice suburban houses with yards and everybody has a golden retriever and you know, things are just easier there.
42:36
And I don’t know, man, I hung out with some fucking trashy ass people in my lifetime.
So I remember there was a period in my life where I was hanging out in Lake County which like if there are tears of like trashiness like Lake County is like pretty fucking trashy.
42:55
And the houses out there are like 10 times bigger.
But like not all parts of Lake County are created equal and that doesn’t also mean anything either.
So I was in a phase of my life where I was like trying to slowly drink myself to death and or take enough drugs to just like eat myself off the planet.
43:17
And I was like hanging out with these people from Lake County.
And there was this bar that we used to go to.
And I like, I like, drank so fucking much that night.
And I was like popping pills too.
43:33
So I I had like a shit load of Vicodin that I had eaten.
And then I was like drinking and I wasn’t feeling like drunk at all.
And I was, like, asking my friend, I was like, well, do you have anybody they can get us some blow?
I was like, I want to do some cocaine tonight.
43:49
Like, I had never done it before, but I had been wanting to try it.
I was like, like, let’s get some coke and, like, party and have a good time.
So, like, my friend starts making some phone calls and calls this dude and she’s like, all right, let’s like, go over to this guy’s house.
44:07
He can hook us up, like, he’s going to sell us whatever.
And I was like, OK, cool.
So I have no idea where I am.
I’m like just out in the middle of, like, a pretty wooded, like almost rural area.
And we like, roll up to this guy’s house and this dude, this like, white dude who’s like shorter than me, like comes outside and he’s wearing like, those baggy shorts but like not like, raver kid baggy.
44:39
But like, I might have like, a chicken in my backyard and my, like, a cousin might be my aunt, kind of like, wait, So.
And he’s got like a little jersey on and, like, gold chains.
44:55
And like, I go to, we all get out of the car and he’s like, hey, I live with my parents.
They piss and shit themselves.
They wear diapers.
They’re sleeping.
Oh my God.
And it’s.
Like, OK And we’re like, all right, He’s like, so basically I’m just saying they pissed and shit themselves, don’t wake them up.
45:18
And I was like, OK, so now I’m like, dude, I’m totally regretting, like, what I have put into motion at this point.
So I go downstairs, He’s got some other friend there, I’m with a couple of my friends and this guy Lego literally lives in like a dungeon basement full of like, feral fucking cats that like piss on everything and like the entire fucking basement breaks.
45:51
And the guy is like, you want to watch some porn?
And we’re like, not really.
He was like, well, I’m going to put some porn on.
You have a problem with that?
So like, this guy pulls out this box and he has like a million DVDs of like, only ass porn.
It’s just chicks getting it in the ass.
46:07
Like, that’s what every DVD is.
So he puts on some like, ass porn and he’s like, you want to see my model trains?
And I was like, what?
And he’s like my model trains.
And I was like, OK, we go in the other room and this guy has like a model train set that he built, like completely that takes up the entire room.
46:32
And he’s showing me like, how these trains work and like, where he got all of his materials from.
There’s the ass porn playing in the background.
There’s cats everywhere.
This place is like filthy.
And he like, just out of nowhere is like, you are really ugly and I would never fuck you.
46:53
And I was like, excuse me, and he goes.
God.
He goes, not that like, nobody will fuck you, but I’m not going to fuck you, ’cause you’re ugly.
And I was like, cool.
I’m glad we’re on the same page, ’cause this is not my idea of foreplay, like looking at your fucking model trains.
47:14
But then he’s starting to like, hit on me and like, get in my, like, personal space.
And I was like, this guy’s nagging me.
That was like a whole.
Another thing was like the pick up artist thing back then, which let’s put a pin in that and talk about that in a minute.
47:30
So this guy’s like freaking out about his like, replica trains and keeps telling me that I’m ugly and then is trying to like fuck me, OK?
And my friends are in the other room like doing coke and nobody is sharing with me.
47:46
And I like, go, you know, I got to get out of this room.
I’m going to go to the bathroom.
I go to the bathroom and there is a human fucking feces on the walls and all over the fucking toilet dude.
Oh my God.
48:03
Oh God.
So, like, I got my friend and was like, can you come in here?
And like, had her kind of, like, hold my hand so I could, like, squat without falling, ’cause I was, like, hammered as fuck.
48:19
But as soon as I got out of the bathroom, I was sober, ’cause I was like, I need to get the fuck out of here.
Like, and this was before, like smartphones, I think I had a Nokia or something equivalently, like, useless.
So I go to the bathroom and like, I’m starting to sober up and like, all I’m smelling is cat piss and I’m like asking my friends, I was like, can we go?
48:45
I need to get out of here.
Can we go, Can I get out?
Can we get out of here?
I’m like telling them this dude’s show me his fucking Choo Choo train and trying to like show me the Choo Choo train same time.
And.
They’re like, we’re not done yet.
49:01
I had to sit there until they were done, like doing cocaine for the night.
And by the time I got out of there, the sun was coming up and I was like, this is what I mean when I say that the fucking suburbs are trashy.
49:17
Like I looked at my friend and I said if I’m going to do cocaine, it’s going to be in a fabulous outfit and not in that cat piss den.
I want to, like, relive fucking Club 54, not like, fucking die in a basement where no one will find me because the student’s cats all ate me and his parents bits and shit themselves.
49:45
That’s like a quintessential suburban experience.
That was like, why?
It’s why I hate the fucking suburbs, because everybody thinks it’s so nice and pretty and like, that’s what’s going on behind closed doors.
Right.
It’s always like fucked up shit going on and like people not dealing with issues and you know, saying, oh, it’s always the other people that are bad and it’s the other people who are failing at life.
50:12
Look at us.
Look at my house.
How can I possibly be failing even though, like my house is underwater and like I’m about to file for bankruptcy.
You know, like there’s so much of that in the years.
It’s really weird.
50:28
I feel like there is so much of that and I feel like it probably happens in Chicago too or other cities too.
But like there you had people on your side, like the sheer law of numbers.
You’re going to find your group of people in in a big city like where it won’t happen in a country town or it won’t happen in the suburbs.
50:50
Because, like, I’m sure there’s like a lot of crap like people who grew up in the city like, relate to from having to listen to this like they have.
You have like more probability of meeting people that you get along with and like.
Because like, you could learn to appreciate difference in the people that are around you.
51:12
I think a lot more than you would like in the suburb.
Because we had like lots of skinheads out there too.
That was always really gross.
Yeah, I mean where we grew up, I mean we really had a mix of everything.
And like, you know, there are some suburbs that are, you know, all white.
51:35
There’s a lot of like, I don’t want to say necessarily sundown towns, but like there are KKK rallies that happen in Illinois.
It’s not like just a Southern thing, you know, and it’s like other thing where we grew up, we did have a lot later on especially you know, I don’t know what it’s like now.
51:59
It’s been a long time, but you know Motorola had opened up and so you had a lot of international people coming through that way and working there and people moving to the suburbs because these big tech, tech companies were opened up in the suburbs.
52:15
So I feel like we were also like some of the 1st to see like the influx of like techies and that whole industry coming up and you know we came up during the Internet age.
So like we just saw all that change and like that brought in money too, that all that new money came in.
52:37
So, you know, we just, I feel like all everything about the suburbs is about money and appearances. 100%.
You know, there’s just this underlying rumble of like, unease at all times in the suburbs and like people judging other people is like their national pastime there, like.
53:06
Yeah, it was so funny, ’cause, like, I didn’t realize, like how how specific people from the northwest suburbs of Chicago look until I ran into them outside of their environment.
53:25
Like, I was at some bar in South Austin and I saw this couple walking past and they were like my age.
And one of them had like a Chicago or some kind of shirt that, like, would say they’re from Chicago or indicate they’re from the area.
53:43
And I, like, waved.
And I was like, Chicago, What’s up?
I was like, I’m from there.
I was like, where are you from?
And they’re like Arlington Heights.
And I was like, no kidding.
This woman just looked at me and was, like, disgusted that I was talking to her in public.
54:01
And that was when I got judgmental.
It was when I saw the way that she looked at me and it was like something I hadn’t felt or experienced in a really long time.
And I was like, wait a minute, I was like, this chick is orange number one.
54:20
I was like, she’s wearing like, booty shorts, like spandex, like biker shorts on a 90° day with a fucking sweatshirt.
And the sweatshirt had like the obnoxious logo on it and like her ass was hanging out, but like, it wasn’t like a cute outfit.
54:45
I don’t know like what she was wearing, but she like and she had like blonde like highlights.
You don’t look very presentable, my opinion.
And you’re looking at me like that, like you’re wearing your underpants, basically.
55:01
And you also don’t have like a great cool situation going on.
And that was when I noticed the husband had on like, you know, a jersey, like AV Nucky, like sport type jersey, but like baggy with like baggy pants and a shaved head.
55:20
And I was like, wait a minute.
I think I fucking know these people.
It sounds so Arlington Heights.
I know Arlington.
Heights thinks that they’re not white trash, right?
All your houses are also all like those, like World War 2 style, like Rolling Meadows, like it’s all very similar.
55:44
Arlington Heights had a boost of money in the 90s and like, whatever.
But Schaumburg is like where you have more money.
Like, if you’re really looking at that suburb situation, Arlington Heights people always thought they were like, way richer than they were.
56:05
And it was like.
No, it’s so funny.
And that’s why I was just like, Oh my God, Like, how are you looking like judging me like this?
That was when I was like, oh, my God.
I was like, it’s like, not even Chicago, man, ’cause like, if you see somebody from Chicago and you’re like, Chicago, everybody’s like Chicago like that.
56:26
People love it there.
But I was just like, oh, gross.
But like, I never realized like that.
There was like a very specific look that people from that area had until, like, I encountered it here in Austin.
And I was I.
Feel like I feel like people who, you know, a lot of suburban people like are from the city and they move out to the suburbs, They have a very different vibe than people who grew up in the suburbs. 100%.
56:58
I it’s you just see them walking a mile away, you know, like you can tell there is like an outfit type.
There’s a hairstyle.
I feel like like the color’s never like quite right, you know, it’s not luxurious looking.
57:18
The color is never quite right.
And I feel like out in the suburbs they get like hair trends, like 10 years after we do.
Yes.
And like, yeah, the colour is not right because like whoever is doing their hair is like pulling it through a cap.
57:37
Or they’re like not toning it afterwards And they’re still doing like their foils the way that, like you would do them if you were going to do a full head foil like back in the day instead of like doing a balayage or something.
57:55
And I’m just like, yeah.
And then they don’t tell them, those bitches that was like yellow, yellow highlights.
No matter like what?
Like, they don’t like, put different colors in.
It’s like bleach and that’s it.
And like, yes, you’re on your way And it’s.
58:12
Yeah.
And like, the haircuts are usually not very good either.
They’re like, they’re just very like, blah.
I mean, Karen, haircuts are such a suburban hairstyle.
Yeah.
Like, I feel like we saw those a lot.
58:29
Especially that weird spiky shit from the 90s like that came from the suburbs.
Like every woman over 40.
Well, no.
I feel like back in high school is very cool to like shave most of your head and then only leave the strips in the front.
58:52
But.
That’s different.
It was that was a punk rock look.
But when you’re over 40 and you had, remember how they had like, OK, you got the big like bang.
Situation.
The strips turned into an emo bang with a side fringe.
59:09
But no, you’re totally right.
It turned into like an old person thing.
But I feel like if you were like, I would see people walking around like that and I would be like, if that’s me now, if I don’t get out of here, that’s going to morph into that kind of thing.
59:28
It’s like you could almost see the soul of a rebellious person that like lived inside that body back then, but they just gave up and now they yell at the manager whenever they can.
59:43
Girl, I will never, ever, ever work or manage a place that is out in the fucking suburbs ever again.
Those bitches are so entitled about this stupidest shit and they will make a fucking scene.
1:00:01
Like oh, they’re the fucking worst, dude, I will never do that again.
It’s like they turn into like a gang.
I feel like it’s like West Side Story and like these bitches get out of like back then it would have been minivans with their like weird haircuts and they’re like.
1:00:21
Yeah.
And you’re like waiting for them to like, storm your store, your cafe and just like start some shit.
And there’s like screaming kids in the background and they’re like there is not enough caramel on my caramel frappuccino.
1:00:37
I want to talk to your manager right now.
Little Timmy.
So rude.
Yes, people are so fucking rude in the suburbs.
I remember when I moved down here I was working at Sam’s Club and I like, transferred from Illinois to here.
1:01:00
No, I worked.
What was that?
It was that Rolling Meadows where that Sam’s Club was.
It was kind of otherwise we were at.
So I went from there to Metairie, And when I got to Metairie, I encountered a whole new suburban person.
1:01:24
Like, Southern Suburban is even worse because, like you, I got yelled at for calling like, women.
Guys, I’d be like, hey, guys, how are you?
1:01:40
Because in Chicago we say it.
Hey, guys, how are you?
Everybody?
And I got yelled at because they were women.
We’re not guys, clearly.
Why are you calling us that?
I’m like, I have this one guy, OK?
1:01:56
Like, there’s a lot of accents out here.
He was he was asking me for something and I could not understand what the fuck he was asking me for.
It was just like, you have Botox.
That’s what it sounded like to me.
He’s asking me for boy socks and it took like 8 times and he got so mad at me and I was like, what is this language you’re speaking?
1:02:21
Like?
I’ve dealt with lots of accents, but this is and like, people get real angry here about it.
I feel like at least in Illinois, they’re used to like language barriers.
So, like, if you give a little more time, I don’t know if this dude was from the Bayou.
1:02:37
I don’t know where the fuck he was from.
I didn’t understand it.
That first year I was here was just like a constant, like, what’s wrong with you?
But the suburbs here are just as trashy, but even more religious.
1:02:56
So like, you know, I feel like the suburbs of Chicago, there’s religious people, but there’s a lot of, you know, atheists out there, not church going people in the burbs of Chicago.
Here it’s a totally different ball game.
1:03:12
So I used to get so mad because I’m like, oh, congratulations, you paid $35 for a membership that doesn’t make you, like, entitled to scream at me.
Who the fuck do you think you are?
Like I saw your like house that’s worth $100,000.
1:03:29
Shut the fuck up.
Like, it’s one thing to be yelled at by somebody who like, has nice shit on.
I don’t know what it is like.
If I see you’re wearing a nice beautiful ring and you yell at me, I’m like, but when I I don’t know, this might be an entitlement thing.
1:03:48
Actually, maybe I’m having a little moment here finding out about myself.
I love that if I get yelled at by somebody that I feel is like, real trashy, I’m like, how dare you, how dare your poor ass, your pleasant ass, yell at me.
1:04:08
That was exactly what I was thinking with these people who are like, who the fuck are you The other day?
And I was like, I don’t know, dude, who the fuck am I?
Who the fuck are you?
Who the fuck are any of us?
1:04:24
I was like, my girl.
I’m like, I am at trashy.
At least I own that.
And that makes me not trashy, because I don’t know why that works, but it does.
Yeah, you’re like, you’re the trashy person person yelling at you.
1:04:44
Like, like, Oh my God, like, I’m so offended by, like, your fucking opinion right now or what you think of me.
And like, yeah, I I get what you’re saying.
Dude, like, how dare you think you’re better than I am?
1:05:00
Yes, exactly.
And it’s like the whole thing was like, I didn’t think I was better than you in the 1st place, but then you made yourself a problem and now I know it like.
Yes, yes.
I think, like one of the neatest but most hilarious things I’ve ever said to somebody was somebody like, said to me, oh, you think you’re better than me.
1:05:32
You’re so much better.
And I said, I don’t think I’m better than you.
I know I’m better than you.
I was.
Like, right, That’s right.
Why are you?
Even coming at me with this attitude, like let’s just accept the fact we all know that I am better than you, You don’t need to bring it up.
1:05:52
It doesn’t need to be debated like I could defend myself and list all the ways, but I don’t want to hurt your feelings.
God, we are such suburban bitches.
Oh, it’s ingrained.
1:06:15
I know, it’s awful, but I think too though, like, I don’t think, like, weaponize that shit on people that are doing it to me.
So if anything, it’s a fucking public service.
And I am but a mirror appearing to think about yourself, think about how you made yourself feel just now.
1:06:40
Oh man, I don’t ever want to go back there ever again.
Derek was trying to get us to move to the suburbs.
He was on like a five year campaign about us moving to the suburbs.
And I was like over my dead body.
And he was like, he was like, well you know, Chicago’s changing it.
1:06:59
It’s not what it used to be.
And everybody that we know is going to the burbs and that’s where the new Chicago is going to be.
And I was like, bitch, if I leave here, I’m leaving the state.
I was like, I will accept none of this.
Like there is no way I’m going to go back live in Illinois and live in a fucking suburb.
1:07:18
I was like, it’s not going to fucking happen.
Like I will.
I was like Chicago or bust.
I was like, there’s nothing here, but like cornfields and like the suburbs, I’m not into it.
I mean, really, the only thing to do is go shopping.
1:07:34
Because, you know, the last year I was there, after I moved back, I was at my dad’s house and shopping.
I literally had nothing to do, ever.
And like, nothing was close.
I had to drive if I wanted to go somewhere.
And literally, sometimes I would just go to the mall just to like, walk around and do something, you know?
1:07:58
It’s so boring.
It’s so boring.
There’s nothing to do there and there’s like nowhere to eat.
Like the food out there is not good.
Like, I just don’t.
I’m like, so scared that one day I’m going to wake up and I’m going to be sitting in an Applebee’s and it’s going to be like 4:30 PM and I’m going to have on, like, yoga pants.
1:08:29
And I’m going to, like, start complaining that like, we need to get back before Matlock is on TV.
And I’m not going to know how I got there.
You know.
That’s like what scares me the most.
1:08:46
I’m afraid that that’s going to happen to me.
And I’m not going to like notice, like it’s just going to like slowly happen where I’m becoming like a regular at the Applebee’s and then like slowly and slowly I start going there earlier and earlier and like then I stopped wearing like actual pants cause like the, you know, leggings are so much more comfortable.
1:09:07
And like, you know, nobody’s like checking me out, so I’m wearing Crocs too, like, why not?
And like yelling at the fucking server for like, only giving me 5 onion rings when they’re supposed to be 6 in an order and then throwing like a fucking temper tantrum and then redoing that every week for the rest of my life.
1:09:31
Like, I’m afraid that’s like probably one of my biggest fears, dude.
Is that like, that’s what the life I’m gonna slip into And I’m slowly just like not even gonna realize it.
I’m gonna wake up and I’m gonna realize that like my whole life is gone and I spent it in an Applebee’s eating like, really gross food and yelling at people that I’m blaming for my life’s problems.
1:09:58
Like if I.
See you going.
If I see you going down that road and you start going to Applebee’s, I will be like, what’s happening here?
Snap out of a bitch.
We’re daddy bitches.
1:10:16
We don’t do Applebee’s, OK?
Are.
Denny’s.
Bitches, but they don’t.
Smoke in there anymore, which is bullshit.
There’s no point in going to a Denny’s unless you’re going to smoke like I feel like.
I feel like when we pass all the smoking bans, they should have been like everything except Denny’s.
1:10:37
Like where a teenager are supposed to hang out at night after their crappy job.
Oh.
My God man, I missed them.
Just like being able to like go to a 24 hour diner, like those are not things anymore.
1:10:57
So it was nice to be like, no matter what, you could go to Denny’s and like, smoke cigarettes for four hours and like, yeah, whatever.
And like they didn’t give a.
Fuck, no one else was there.
Yeah.
Bowls of ranch, black coffee, mozzarella sticks.
1:11:21
I feel like that was my life for like a good year.
Maybe 2.
And chicken tender.
Some moons over my hammy when I had a little extra cash.
Right.
I was always an All American Slam girl.
1:11:39
That was my my thing.
I could never do the moons over my hammy.
But I do not eat ham, so that’s.
Probably ham off I like.
So you want an egg sandwich?
1:11:55
Pretty much, because I also just want to dip it in a tub of ranch.
I love Denny’s ranch for whatever reason, so a lot of times I would get moves over my ham and I feel like I would give the ham to probably Joe.
1:12:11
I would probably give him my ham or whoever I was with.
Yeah, you know, we had one waitress who, like, knew us, ’cause we were like the Oberweis kids coming in after work, forget what her name was, but man, she was on it with the refills.
1:12:29
We didn’t even have to ask for bowls of ranch.
She just brought them.
Those were the.
Days such a good memory for A.
And A Denny’s.
Oh my God, man.
1:12:46
I feel like it was just such a great fucking service to America that you could get a club sandwich at any time of day, no matter what.
All across the country, for like most of the 90s, like there is always a 24 hour diner.
1:13:05
You know, There have been so many nights like when I was younger, even when I, like, moved out of the suburbs, that I’d have like, insomnia and would just find myself at a 24 hour diner somewhere.
Just.
Because it’s like a comforting ass place to be.
1:13:21
Like I just always felt like the diners.
Always.
Because Golden Nugget in Chicago was my favorite.
Oh my God, I love the Golden Nugget.
Yeah, biscuits and gravy were so Oh my.
1:13:37
God, Derek loved their biscuits and gravy.
There are so many nights that it’s just like when you’re having, like when you’re feeling down or like your life is falling apart.
Like, I always find myself at a diner, Yeah.
And there’s something that’s like so comforting about knowing that no matter what diner you go to and who, like, is running it, there’s always going to be eggs.
1:14:04
There’s always going to be a club sandwich.
There’s always going to be like a weird fucking grapefruit that’s like shoved full of tuna for some reason for the light diet or whatever.
And like, the menu is the same no matter what.
And it’s just like that predictability was just wonderful.
1:14:23
And like, if there’s anything that they were really good at doing was like always being on top of that coffee refills like heaven, you.
Just sit there.
You sit there, you can sit there for like 3 hours and people would just fill you up and fill you up and like.
It was wonderful, especially when you could smoke like.
1:14:43
I mean, customer service is not a thing anymore.
Like we came from a time where like everywhere you were, customer service was like encouraged.
And if people, I feel like people are just more gentle with each other when they went out, maybe not in, like, you know, some fancy restaurant, but like just a casual place like that.
1:15:10
You know, waitresses were always just like cool.
They were just nice.
And I mean, I feel like everywhere I go now, people are just like, what?
How dare you?
How dare you come in here to order something when I’m trying to do nothing so.
1:15:28
I feel like a lot of that too though like part of the reason I don’t think we’re like that anymore is because like that customer service thing got like way out of control.
Like, I feel like it was so often the case and like we both know this from working in various industries and like what we’ve done, always done for a living.
1:15:52
But like it was OK for somebody to just come in and scream at your staff.
Like you never kick that person out and you’re always trying to make them happy.
Like and we like tolerated that culture.
And I think, like, people started to think of themselves as like powerful when they would walk into a place and that was like how they puffed up their ego because somebody was like fawning over them and it got like out of control.
1:16:21
And I feel like during the pandemic, people were getting crazy with people at stores and places, whether it was because of, like the mask policies or them just being upset and like screaming at everybody about everything.
1:16:38
And people got fucking fed up.
And like, these are people who are making, like almost no money and they’re keeping everything open, you know what I mean?
You then go in there and just like, abuse these people because they’re caught in the same situation that you’re in.
So I think that’s when I started seeing like, a lot of people’s attitudes change because people realize, like they could make just as much money without having to, like, allow their staff to be abused, which I think is a good thing.
1:17:09
And then, like, you have wage stagnation, you know what I mean?
And it’s like people are just like, fuck this.
Like, I’m not making any money.
Like, people come in here and yell at me like, I wouldn’t want to be nice either, you know?
1:17:25
Yeah, I think.
That also comes from the fact that like we don’t have as many like small businesses.
Everything is a corporation.
So everybody’s working for these corporate places.
And like when we were kids, not everything was corporate.
1:17:42
It was a lot of family owned.
And like, I think when you grow up in that, you respect people more because like, they’re doing this is their livelihood.
1:17:59
They own it.
Like when you go to somewhere like fucking target, it’s like, who gives a fuck, you know?
And I was just reminded like, we just had Thanksgiving.
Do you remember how Black Friday for like years, like people are getting in fights and like, stampeding when we were young, that was not a thing.
1:18:21
This is totally like, what 2000s?
I think that started happening.
And like, I think that is when we started seeing a major decline in how like people are treating other people.
Because it’s like unbelievable to me to remember how like, I mean people would be stampeding into a place and like get hurt over like a cheap TV.
1:18:45
Like, thank God it’s not like that anymore.
Right.
I mean, I feel like it doesn’t have to be anymore because of like, e-commerce.
Yeah, people are like, I know stores are always trying to make Black Friday like the next big thing, but like, they haven’t been doing a good job of that.
1:19:05
And like, they’re finding that they can have more profits online and offering the same deals that they do without all of the violins.
But like, that’s just crazy.
People just, like, lose their mind buying shit.
1:19:20
And I’m like, how much do you fucking want a television for?
I don’t get it.
It’s not funny like the like, I guess, like, was it Mark Twain that said a person is smart, people are stupid.
1:19:38
Like, I just never wanted to be part of that, like, gang mentality.
I was like, oh, it scared me.
It scared me to see people behaving like that.
Yeah.
And you know, and when we were younger, like things were closed on Thanksgiving, there were a lot of holidays, things were totally closed everywhere you go.
1:20:04
And then later on, you know, they would open, you know, Thanksgiving Day like in the afternoon or you know, they’re open late on Christmas Eve.
So people can get the all the shopping done and.
1:20:21
I think it just really warped how people shop and how people see value other people’s time.
You know, like, I hate, I always hated when they start opening on Thanksgiving.
1:20:38
I was like, can people just have one fucking day off to not deal with other people and just either be with their family or by themselves, right?
Why do we constantly have to be selling stuff?
And it all goes back to that consumerism of the times, you know?
1:20:58
Yeah, it’s really wild.
I like it is almost like to like when you’re in any kind of service industry it’s like you never feel like if you know you it’s not you’re not worth having a day off for.
1:21:17
That’s like what it feels like.
Like they’re always coming up with some reason to be open on Christmas, open on Thanksgiving, like and they’re just like, well, you know this is just the industry and it’s just like that sucks though because it’s like you’re not worth being allowed to take a day off.
1:21:35
Like your family doesn’t matter.
Like, you need to be here to do things because, like, you really need this money and it’s just fucked up to me.
It would be one thing if you’re like a surgeon or somebody that like, has to go work on Thanksgiving, like, that makes sense, OK, But like, nobody is going to die if you don’t get served chicken wings on Thanksgiving.
1:21:59
And like, you’re probably not going to make any money that day anyways because it’s going to be dead.
It’s just like an exercise and control like they’re probably.
Yes.
If they were to look at the labor and the numbers from just that, they’re losing money by opening their doors.
1:22:14
But they like, just want to remind the employees that like, you can’t have too much freedom and you don’t get like the, you know, a surgeon who does work on Thanksgiving is going to like probably make like 6 digits a year.
1:22:30
You know somebody that is working at like your local restaurant or cafe or whatever, they’re getting paid like 12 bucks an hour if you’re in a blue state, maybe $7.00 an hour if you’re in a red state, depending on where you are around the country.
1:22:47
And like, those people don’t really get any benefit from like living like that.
We don’t get any benefits from that.
There isn’t like a trade off for us.
Like we have to be available whenever you want to schedule.
There’s no flexibility or freedom.
I don’t like it.
1:23:02
I feel like everybody should have a fucking day off.
Absolutely.
And I think that with the rise of the suburbs in the 80s and 90s and big box stores like opening, there was that expectation of like being able to buy stuff whenever you wanted.
1:23:23
Now we have the Internet, so you can do that.
But back then, like, people were just hungry for stuff and like showing their stuff and like, I mean talking about deals, like Oh my God, I got this big ass TV for this prize, blah, blah, blah.
1:23:42
You know, like it all comes from that suburban culture because in the city, you know, they don’t have Walmarts in the city and now they do sometimes.
Well, they used to, I don’t know, I think the one in Chicago closed.
But it is, that is totally a suburban thing going to those kind of stores.
1:24:05
So, you know, I think with people like with the pandemic, everything has adjusted.
You know, people move to more rural places, but now they’re moving back to the cities.
You know, I’m I’m interested to see what it’s going to be like in those next five years.
1:24:24
And.
Just how it’s going to change.
Yeah, it is going to be different.
And I feel like people don’t like, really see the suburbs anymore as being like fancy.
Like there are a couple suburbs that are fancy, you know, like some of the, like Highland is a Highland Park and like Evanston, parts of Evanston, Yeah.
1:24:53
People don’t see them as like fancy unless they’re in these like very specific neighborhoods like Kenilworth or.
Worth.
Yeah, but I think now it’s like if you’re fancy, you live in the city and, like, it sucks because like all those people that we just complained about got married, had kids and then moved into the city and displaced everybody out of the city because living in the city is cool now.
1:25:22
It’s so funny when you see people who like, have never lived in a city move like, dead ass from like Naperville into like a real city condo or building.
And they, like, just don’t understand, like what’s happening around them.
1:25:39
And like the social contract that you have with everyone around you.
Like there was a little girl down the street that I heard screaming for their mother, like at the top of their lungs, like blood curdling screams.
And I, like, was walking with my dog and I, like, went over there because the screaming was going on for a long time and the fucking front door was open, dude.
1:26:08
So like, the first thing I’m thinking is that like, there’s an unattended child and like, a parent has had a medical event, OK, this is what is going on through my mind.
When I say door open, I don’t mean like the screen door was closed, like it was an open door.
1:26:26
And I don’t see anybody in there.
And I’m like, hello, hello.
And I see the little girl screaming and these, this mom and dad, like poke their head around the corner and like, look at me like, what the fuck is wrong with you?
1:26:45
And I was like, is everything OK?
I heard like, the little one screaming.
I saw the doors open and they were they just gave me like a nasty look.
And I’m like, this is how I know you don’t know where you live.
Because we don’t do that in Chicago.
Like, we don’t leave the door open for anybody to come in the house.
1:27:04
Like on a busy street with my Todd, your toddler right there to, like, just scream bloody murder, like somebody’s going to come check on you, make sure that you’re OK because we assume somebody broke into your house, you know?
And I guess you can just do that in the suburbs.
1:27:20
You can’t do that in Chicago, you know?
And that’s what.
And they looked at me like I was crazy.
And I was just like, you have like an unattended child.
And like, I thought somebody was in danger.
Like you wouldn’t go next door if you lived in the suburbs.
You’d just be like whatever, it’s their business and it’s sorry.
1:27:38
You know you go to the suburbs for that distance in the city, you’re all living on top of each other and the burbs, you got your house fence, next house fence.
You know, I don’t know.
It’s just like, a lot of like that crazy entitlement.
1:27:55
And like when we lived in Bucktown, I used to live by a really nice pool that, like a city pool that wasn’t always very congested because it was in the middle of a neighborhood.
And I was in my car getting ready to go to work.
So it was like messing with my phone to make sure like, my music was on and checking my mirrors and my face before I was like getting ready to go.
1:28:18
There is like no parking spots on like the little mini block that I’m on, but the one in front of me, there’s like three other mini blocks, like this side street I lived on wasn’t even a city block long.
So like, we’ll say, it may be like 25 feet ahead of me, like there’s plenty of parking and this bitch is like, pulled up next to me in her minivan.
1:28:42
And she had, I will never forget she had like a giant namaste sticker on the back of her van and she rolls down her window and is like, are you going to fucking move?
And I was like, excuse me, I was like, in a minute.
1:28:58
She’s like, it’s so fucking hot out.
I have children in the car we need to park.
I want to go to the pool and she’s like, can you fucking move?
And she’s screaming at me and she’s like one of those, like, blonde yoga moms.
And there’s like, literally, I can see like 15 to 20 parking spots in front of me.
1:29:18
But she wanted my parking space because I was two car links closer to the pool than all those other parking spots.
And she had the audacity to like, start a fight with me.
Like, she doesn’t even live in my neighborhood.
Namaste.
Bitch.
Namaste.
Right.
1:29:33
I just sat there and was like, how I, like, rolled my window back up.
But I started noticing my neighborhood was like slowly becoming more like that.
And then I noticed like all the other neighborhoods were slowly becoming like that.
And I was like, this is not Chicago anymore, man.
1:29:51
It’s just a bunch of like.
Yeah, Chicago definitely changed with like demographics and who is living where.
I mean it’s crazy to see like what happened on the West side.
1:30:07
You know all those like old warehouses are like inhabited by like young professionals who are like making good money.
That area had like nothing before that.
And like the South Loop, you know, I’m going home next month and where you got a place in the South Loop and just looking around, it reminds me, I went to Columbia College and it’s been like 20 years, over 20 years now.
1:30:36
When I went to school there, there was fucking nothing in the South Loop.
It was like parking lots, a Giro place that has this awesome like Giro and like hot dog special and then like just rando buildings and now you go there and everything is built up.
1:30:55
It’s totally different our installations.
And.
Yeah, it blows my mind how different it is.
And you know, we’re going out to the suburbs and I’m interested to see, you know, what that looks like.
1:31:12
Has it changed at all?
Is it still the same?
I mean, I think it’s pretty the same when I was staying with my grandma.
I mean, there’s a lot of places that aren’t there anymore, but it all looks the same, except I think they started tearing down Arlington Park.
1:31:31
I could be wrong about that, but it was still there when I was there.
So yeah, it’s like pretty the same to me.
It still has that, like, blah vibe.
None of these cities, none of these, like, neighborhoods are picturesque.
1:31:46
They’re not.
The buildings aren’t interesting.
Like, they don’t look like they’re very utility.
And I’m just like, why am I here?
I don’t like being here, you know?
And the cops are the fucking worst out there.
1:32:03
Oh my God, yes they are.
Yeah, many times I’ve had my fucking vehicle legally searched.
Girl, I’m telling you, like, I got so used to having my fucking car searched.
1:32:20
And that’s the other thing.
Like, if you’re a kid running around there and you don’t look like everybody else, the cops will just, like, harass you for the rest of your life.
They’ll follow you around and they’ll find something on you to like, find you or whatever.
1:32:38
They have nothing better to do.
And like, it’s so annoying.
Like there was one time that like, I was driving my partner’s car and they didn’t pay to like get the new like sticker on their car. 5 squad cars pulled me over. 5 They had cops on and this is the middle of the day, dude.
1:33:05
They have cops on either side.
Like I’m gonna run and I’m thinking something is really fucking wrong, ’cause I see the amount of squad cars have pulled up on me and they have flashlights out in the middle of the fucking day.
1:33:20
I don’t know why they have flashlights out.
They were like, why did why did we pull you over?
I’m like, I don’t know.
And they’re like, your registration sticker is expired.
And I was like, this is not my car.
They give you a ticket anyway, which is fine, but they, like, help me there for a really long time.
1:33:38
And like, by the time I had gotten home, like several hours later, like, people were already asking me about it and they thought I got busted for drugs.
And I was like, dude, I got pulled over for a fucking sticker.
Like I they just decided, like, they needed five squad cars to fucking pull me over.
1:33:59
Like, how many fucking cops do you need to pull somebody over for a vehicle tag?
But they would do shit like that all the time.
Or sometimes, like, my mom and I would just be around and they would just, like, pull us over.
They pulled us over once in the parking lot just for, like, no reason.
1:34:17
They’re fucking stupid and like, bored and they just aren’t competent.
They don’t know how to do math, avoid the area at all costs.
I guess the whole summation of the suburbs is it’s white trash covered by layers of money.
1:34:41
And that’s basically the suburbs in a nutshell.
I totally agree, and I think that is a good summation, but I feel like we owe everybody a pretty good definition of white trash.
Like what is what are we calling white?
Trash.
1:34:57
Suburban white trash is wearing Lulu mom and being seriously in debt.
Having a big ass house and like multiple cars but having like bad hair.
1:35:24
You know in our day it was being orange and wearing like silver, like highlight colors and having the chunky hair.
Chunky hair was like a big thing when we were young for.
1:35:44
But you know that whole fake tan to me is very white trash no matter like what?
Like why, why do you need that?
So to me, that is white trash.
I mean, I guess I would say like being a judgmental, rude person that thinks you’re better than everybody else while looking like trash makes you white trash.
1:36:13
Like when you don’t have shit going on and you think you’re better than everybody else.
I think that’s what white trashes.
That’s my definition.
Being being in debt is not trashy because this is America and who’s not in debt.
1:36:30
Yeah.
But it’s the spending so much on things to have things, you know.
Like useless consumer.
Brand thing exactly That is like suburban trash to me.
1:36:50
I think I’m going to make like a small point that, like, I know plenty of people that like, live in the suburbs that are not like that.
You know what I mean?
They don’t think they’re better than other people.
And that’s like, not who I’m talking about.
And I also there’s some orange people, some orange people that are very nice.
1:37:07
So I don’t consider those orange people white.
Not everybody with a Louis Vuitton bag is white trash, but it’s that.
It’s that there’s a certain level of, like, arrogance that I think is, yeah, by fear and inferiority that like, really puts a cherry on the white trash cake.
1:37:27
Yeah, so, absolutely.
And whatever.
I’m fucking trash, so I don’t care.
You’re not trash.
I’m not trash.
So such a snob.
1:37:44
I’m a snob.
Too.
It’s OK.
I just.
We just spent two hours, like, yelling at people for wearing like, yoga pants and fucking going to Applebee’s, was it?
I mean, we’re both fucking bitches in our own way.
1:38:02
We’re bitches.
We’re bitches.
But it’s our turn to bitch now.
If you want a bitch, get your own show, OK?
That is what we do here.
Yeah, well, I think that pretty much like covers like white trash Landia.
1:38:19
I’m sure there’s, like, more interesting anecdotes we could tell you, but like, we’ll get there eventually.
I also want to hear your white trash stories.
What’s the most white trash thing that’s ever happened to you out in the suburbs?
1:38:34
Bonus.
You’re sitting.
Bourbon stories.
We want to hear it in.
Bonus points if there’s chainsaws involved.
So yeah, So in the meantime, guys, uh, stay flashy.
1:38:51
Not trashy.
Yes, have a good week everyone.
All right.
We’ll see you soon.
Hey, y’all.
1:39:08
Just a quick note from the show.
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1:39:31
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1:39:51
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